‘Trailblazer’ FBI Director Kash Patel Spoof Debuts on SNL Cold Open
Aziz Ansari spoofed the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Director Kash Patel on the latest episode of Saturday Night Live Cold Open. Ansari mastered Patel’s signature unsettling wide-eyed look. The long-awaited casting was bound to happen, especially with Patel’s latest controversies.
The episode opened with Ashley Padilla as press secretary Karoline Leavitt attempting to speak while construction happens above her. This was a direct reference to the Trump ballroom that is currently in construction. Although this is all for comedic intents and purposes, the controversial ballroom is being built on the former East Wing of the White House—not above the press briefing room.
“As some of you know, I’m about to go on maternity leave. That’s when you tell President Trump about your maternity, and he says, ‘Leave,'” Padilla said. The real Karoline Leavitt had already announced her leave but briefly returned after the White House Correspondents’ Dinner shooting incident. She won’t be making appearances in the meantime as she prepares for the birth of her child.
Hegseth evades questions about the war
Padilla welcomed Colin Jost in the room, who is notable for his satire of Department of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. With a tall beer glass filled to the brim, Jost bragged, “This is a scotch.” In all spoofs of Hegseth, Jost has never failed to convey that the secretary is inebriated. Jost’s Hegseth is so kind he handed Padilla the drink “for the baby.”
One of the reporters for the set asked Jost if he “knew” that the Bible verse he quoted was a fake one from Pulp Fiction. He replied, “Yeah! But I do believe that someday it will be in Bible 2: Electric Bible-aloo.”
When confronted about the supposed twenty-five billion dollars spent on the war funded by taxpayers, Jost only had one answer. He said, “Is it true that you suck?”
He then started singing “five hundred twenty-five million six hundred billion” in the tune of “Seasons of Love” from Rent. Way to spoil an iconic song. But the skit is a commentary on Hegseth’s evasiveness when asked about financially related questions about the war.
As Jost said, “In summary, war is awesome.” His character never truly gives direct answers to questions presented by the press. It’s a tad bit close to reality, and it certainly doesn’t help that the real Pete Hegseth spent nearly a decade as a Fox host on television.
Aziz Ansari debuts his Kash Patel
Putting Jost aside, Ansari’s Patel was spot-on. From the blank, unflinching, dead-eyed look. Social media commenters said that the only thing missing was for Ansari to subtly cross his eyes. Others have even put side-by-side comparisons between Ansari and Patel—it’s the perfect casting. Ansari could be Patel’s body double, and nobody would know.
“And for those of you saying I’m doing a bad job running the FBI, well, what if I told you that this agency is only six weeks away from pinpointing the exact location of Osama bin Laden?” Ironically, bin Laden was killed in 2011. This joke only highlights the pointlessness of Patel’s role.
“I am a trailblazer,” Ansari said. “I’m the first Indian person to suck at their job.” Needless to say, Indian excellence in the United States is no secret. From Silicon Valley to hospitals, Indian migrants have a great reputation in STEM-related fields. But Patel has been under constant criticism for incompetence. A recent article from The Atlantic alleged that he has even been drinking to a worrying extent on the job.
Perhaps Patel might actually grab the heavyweight drinker reputation from Hegseth.
“Everyone says that Indian people are smart, hardworking, and incredibly intelligent. I’ve proved without the shadow of a doubt that we can be just as incapable and as incompetent as the whites,” Ansari joked. It’s surely an interesting way to fire back at the model minority myth while taking a strike against Kash Patel.
It would be ideal to see more of Anzari’s portrayal, but that’s only possible if the real Patel is able to hang on to his position.
(featured image: NBC)
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