Boston girl invites a guy for ice skating, ghosts him, then backtracks to ‘just friends’ when he cancels for a family emergency
Matt, you deserve better.
Dating in the modern era is often a high-stakes game of energy matching. For TikTok creator Jay (@injaywetrustdenver), a planned date to the Boston Commons became a masterclass in reading red flags.
In a video with over 756,000 views, Jay recounts how a girl he met “outside” led him on about an exciting ice skating date, only to ghost him. And it didn’t end at that. When Jay finally canceled the date from his side, she called him a liar. Apparently, his brother needing his help was too unbelievable for her.
Hilariously, Jay’s comment section was full of women who promised they’d never do him like that. So, it’s probably the Boston girl’s loss.
The Boston date was a mess from the beginning
Jay was initially impressed by the Boston girl’s “good head on her shoulders.” However, scheduling their first meeting proved difficult. The girl canceled their first date at the last minute, citing an urgent call to work. So, they rescheduled for a day of ice skating and a movie in Boston.
The girl lived around the area of the date location, but Jay revealed that he lived an hour away. So, he attempted to “touch down” and confirm plans at 1:00 PM on the day of the date. But to his frustration, he was met with hours of radio silence.
A family emergency coincided with her silence
By 4:30 PM, after receiving no response for nearly four hours, Jay assumed he was being stood up. Around this time, his brother called for help after his car was towed due to snow-related parking restrictions.
After half am hour, the girl finally texted, merely stating she was “leaving the gym.” She also conveniently ignored all other texts Jay had sent. Done with her game, Jay decided to cancel the date because of her lack of energy and his brother’s emergency.
The Boston girl accused him of lying before the friend-zone script
Despite being the one who ignored his earlier texts, the girl immediately called Jay back after his cancellation text. Instead of apologizing for ghosting him, she accused him of “lying” about his brother’s car getting towed.
Disappointed, Jay sent a screenshot of his brother’s text to prove he was being “a real person.” Eventually, the girl delivered what Jay calls the “W script.” She claimed that she needed to “work on herself” and only wanted to be friends.
But the final twist came a few months later when Jay discovered she had a boyfriend all along.
The ‘bench-warming’ trend in modern dating
What Jay experienced is often referred to as “benching,” or being kept as an option while someone else is prioritized. Canceling plans last minute, ignoring texts, or accusing you of lying to deflect from their own lack of effort are classic signs of benching behavior.
At the end, they often use the “work on myself” excuse as a polite exit strategy. Chances are, the person is already emotionally occupied elsewhere at this point.
How to handle a flaky date professionally
To avoid wasting your time on a “rescheduled mess,” you can take certain measures. As a general rule, if you haven’t heard from your date by 2:00 PM, consider the plans tentative. It’s best to have a backup plan at this point.
To make sure you don’t end up a pawn in someone’s benching game, match their energy. If they aren’t acknowledging your specific plans, they likely aren’t “jacking it” as much as you are.
In any situation, trust your gut. If you hear phrases like “meeting as friends” or “working on myself,” you should move on immediately. And never over-explain yourself. While Jay sent a screenshot, remember that you don’t owe an exhaustive proof of life to someone who has been ignoring your time.
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