Goat Simulator Is Getting Goat Parkour in 1.1 Patch and Why Am I Not Playing It Right Now

This is the first time I've ever been jealous of people with PCs.
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Let’s be real: if I owned Goat Simulator, I would never get anything done ever, so I should be thankful that the Mac port hasn’t been finished yet. That does little to soothe my jealousy of the PC players who are already enjoying the game, especially now that it’s getting a Tony Hawk-style parkour system, because of course it is.

The update will arrive in mid-May and will also bring local goat multiplayer, a new map, achievements, and give modders a whole lot of freedom, according to Polygon.

The 1.1 preview on the game’s Facebook page has the requisite, perfect wonky music and shows off some of the new features, and that includes wall-running. Great, now I want a full Titanfall-with-goats parody game. Well, there’s always hope for patch 1.2.

(Goat Simulator Facebook via Polygon, image via Goat Simulator)

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Dan Van Winkle
Dan Van Winkle (he) is an editor and manager who has been working in digital media since 2013, first at now-defunct <em>Geekosystem</em> (RIP), and then at <em>The Mary Sue</em> starting in 2014, specializing in gaming, science, and technology. Outside of his professional experience, he has been active in video game modding and development as a hobby for many years. He lives in North Carolina with Lisa Brown (his wife) and Liz Lemon (their dog), both of whom are the best, and you will regret challenging him at <em>Smash Bros.</em>