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  1. Research Suggests Altruism Doesn’t Exist, At Least in Humans and Primates

    Monkeys keep tabs on who owes them something, and you don't want to be in monkey-debt.

    Sharing is caring, but you're lying if you say you don't expect something in return, and science knows it. Researchers looked at 32 studies of primates and human foragers, and the evidence points to the fact that when sharing food, we want something out of it. Ass, gas, or bananas. Nobody rides for free.

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  2. Rise of the Planet of the Apes? Monkey Mob Attacks Indonesian Town, Injuring Seven People

    In a scene straight out of a horror movie, a mob of wild monkeys emerged from a forest in Indonesia and rampaged through a nearby village, leaving seven villagers injured, including one 16-year-old boy in critical condition after being badly bitten. Details on exactly what kind of monkeys made up the mob or what could have motivated them to attack are scarce, and it's not known yet if the primates are hyper-intelligent test subjects recently escaped from a shadowy government lab -- or just a bunch of jerks.

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  3. New True Facts Video Proves Tarsiers Are Even Weirder Than They Look

    The really quite excellent Ze Frank is back, reciting poignant facts about strange animals in dulcet tones, and making our workdays the better for it. This time, Frank has set himself to educating us on the tarsier, a task he manages with admirably little giggling, considering how weird these things are. For example, did you know that tarsiers are mighty hunters, and the only entirely carnivorous primate? This fact should not leave you intimidated by tarsiers, unless you are an insect, lizard, or small bird, which our audience research metrics suggest that you are not. So, no need to worry -- just watch the video below and enter your weekend more educated on all matters tarsier-related.

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  4. New Species Of Slow Loris Recognized, Is As Cute, Endangered As All Other Slow Lorises

    Researchers have recognized several new species of Borneo's lemur-like primate, the mind-shatteringly adorable slow loris. Published this week in the American Journal of Primatology, the team's work officially splits the slow loris community into four distinct species, promoting two former subspecies to full species status in their own right, and recognizing one entirely new species, the kayan loris, pictured above.

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  5. Our Bad: Fossil Identified as Lemur for More Than 100 Years Is Actually a Fish

    Identifying fossils is hard work. They are very old, pretty beat up, and more often than not represent only a fraction of the animal actually being represented, from which paleontologists work to recreate a model of the actual creature. Considering that's like building a model of a human from a chunk of your spine embedded in rock for 10 million years, we can forgive some inaccuracies. But even we had to scratch our heads at today's news that the fossilized primate Arrhinolemur scalabrinii -"Scalbrini's lemur without a nose" -- is not a noseless lemur. Or a primate. Or a mammal. It is, in point of fact, a fish.

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