“The world is getting weird,” declares faithful former bodyguard Happy (Jon Favreau) early in the first act of Iron Man 3. He’s not wrong. Everybody’s favorite genius billionare playboy philanthropist is back for a fourth round, facing a changing world, and a changing self. After the invasion of New York, and the start of the Avengers, there’s plenty on the table for Mr. Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) to handle, from terrorists to his mercurial relationship to his own obsessions. Fortunately for us, though, IM3 doesn’t take too steep of a dive into Tony’s demons. It stays at a neat cruising altitude: charming, effusive, with requisite explosions aplenty. Much like the most used and battered of Tony Stark’s suits, Iron Man 3 has some loose pieces that rattle, but it holds together for a fun, familiar ride.

Material under the cut contains arc-reactor-powered SPOILERS. Read at your own discretion.

When the tortured and bloodied bodies of adolescents strewn willy-nilly across a widescreen isn’t the thing making you uncomfortable in a theater, you know something, somewhere has gone wrong. Based on the camp classic original, (more about that in a moment) the new Evil Dead, in a surprising homage to the film that ‘inspired’ it, is a movie that isn’t aware that it’s bad. A tonal slog that’s a bare-faced unpleasant time (and in not the way it’s intended), Evil Dead has some good cringe-worthy moments, and some things about it that just made me cringe. Read on for a chilling tale of guts, gore, false advertising, VFX lauding, and how the tired trope of casual sexism can be a real bore.

Contains spoilers, as well as some specific mentions of R-rated gory violence. Chances are, if you weren’t going to watch the films for the sake of your tastes or stomach, you might not want to read this.

Indie comic fans, get ready: Jess Fink is bringing sexy back…in time, that is. As a longtime fan, I was thrilled to get a chance to catch up with Jess to talk about her new book, time travel, Star Trek, female heroes, and the timeless inspiration of good smut.

I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, dear God, why.” That is an excellent place to start from. Unfortunately, that’s just the start. H&G is, quite obvious to anyone who has so much as seen a billboard for it, DOA. This is not the part that is interesting; plenty of dead cinematic bodies show up in theaters every year, increasingly so in the empty, hollow months just following award-season cutoff. What is interesting is why such an obviously cold cadaver is showing up at all, even metaphorically. Such a crime of film is as apparent as any corporeal evidence; we cluster around the edges of the taped-off scene muttering amongst ourselves, ‘why, why did this happen?’

So, in the spirit of continued analogy, I am here to perform an autopsy on the long-dead corpse of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. This procedure is not due to a genetic lack of the “fun” gland in this anatomist’s body. On the contrary, “fun” is what Hansel & Gretel could have used a good deal more of, and what it so agonizingly lacks.

(Contained therein are a few spoilers. How much one might care about them we leave entirely to the reader’s discretion.)

Children are not to be trusted. At least, that’s what a lifetime of horror-movie ingestion has taught us. If it’s a child- or child-shaped – don’t go near it, and definitely, absolutely, do not adopt. Ever. But, tired as the demonic child archetype may seem, don’t let the marketing for Guillermo del Toro-produced horror flick MAMA fool you. Andres Muschietti’s debut mainstream feature is a classy, modern, often surprising take on the monster-in-the-house formula. Though it does nothing new where plot content is concerned, it gets points for style and execution. MAMA is a delicious morsel, to be sure, if not particularly substantial, delivering its goods in due course, with a few new ingredients. A new ice cream flavor is still ice cream, but we’ll take a new spin on a classic if it’s tasty.

(Contains less of what we might call “spoilers” and more “things that can be inferred from the trailer and promotional materials”. However, if being kept in the dark is important, proceed with caution.)

If you need a November pick-me-up, or are just aching to have some fresh, red-hot, blaring pixels pumped straight into your cranium, then get your quarters ready and step up to the all-ages ride that is Disney’s Wreck-It Ralph. An opus to eight-bit games, and beyond, Ralph is a piece of bright, quick, kid-aimed fun. What it lacks in depth it more than compensates for in technical finish, bringing viewers to worlds that are so jam-packed with sugary details, you’re likely to get a toothache if you’re over the age of 10. Strictly family-friendly to the point of stating the obvious at every rubber-burning turn, be warned that if you’re seeking a cartoon with a touch of pathos, this isn’t your game, even if it is a good time.

With a new official image from upcoming sequel prequel (?) The Wolverine surfacing all over the nerd ‘Net – not to mention announcements about the sequel prequel (ok, we need a word for these) to X-Men: First Class – it got me thinking about my favorite group of neurotic post-humans and how things are going for them at the box office. While the fact that we even need a word for the sequel to a prequel makes me want to burn my film degree and run screaming into the woods… it’s also a symptom of the larger diseases plaguing the X-franchise.

What do All-Around Olympian gymnast Gabrielle Douglas, Glee‘s Diana Agron, and Modern Family‘s Sarah Hyland have in common? They’re just a a few of the celebrity names to appear in Nintendo‘s new female-targeted ad campaign for their 3DS and 3DSXL hand-held systems. The campaign, called “Play As You Are” is using talented, visible women to draw in players who might otherwise be turned off to gaming.

If, like us, you’ve grown more than weary of the romantic vampires swarming pop culture, and long for something with a bit more, erm, bite, we have some good news. Monster master Guillermo del Toro is bringing his book trilogy The Strain to the small screen, thanks to FX and Lost producer Carlton Cuse. We are pretty excited to see some respectable splatter returned to the now-sparkly genre. Del Toro, an avid fan of all things that go bump in the night (and some of the things that bump back), had explained his interest in vampires at length in an article for the NYTime in 2009.

In a feat of cross-fandom meta the likes of which is rarely seen on television, the producers of Nathan Fillion’s post-Firefly gig on ABC, Castle, are looking to cast someone to…play Nathan Fillion. Castle, for non-watchers out there, is a five-seasons-running show about a crime writer assisting the NYPD in solving unusual cases. As an upcoming Season 5 episode summary details, the show is looking to cast for a story about…an actor who rose to fame on a hit sci-fi series playing one Captain Max Richards.

Starting to sound familiar?