Clarence Thomas smiles slightly.

Apparently Clarence Thomas’ Sugar Daddy Has a Thing for Nazis

This plot is getting thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.

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So we all know how Clarence Thomas has a sugar daddy, right? And we all know that his particular sugar daddy happens to also be a major Republican donor? Well, it turns out that Harlan Crow, the daddy in question, doesn’t just have a thing for spending lavish amounts of money on politicians and Supreme Court Justices whom he may or may not want to influence—he also has a thing for Nazi memorabilia.

That’s a nein for me, dawg.

When you say “Nazi memorabilia” what are we talking about here?

These aren’t just run-of-the-mill Nazi things like a random helmet or a fake uniform. These Nazi things are the genuine article. Harlan Crow has not one, but two paintings made by Hitler himself. Paintings of peaceful European cities, cheerfully unaware of what the man painting the picture would intend for them in the future. Harlan Crow even has a signed copy of Mein Kampf. Yes, signed by Hitler.

And it gets worse…

Crow has Nazi linens. Like actual table napkins with the Nazi insignia on them. You can’t even wipe your hands pure of all the Nazi stuff without touching more Nazi stuff. And should you be thrown into a panic by the literal swastikas that adorn his walls you could always step out into the garden to calm down … and then panic again when you see what else is in the garden. Statues. Normal, right? They would be if they weren’t all statues of dictators. Vladimir Lennon, Jospeh Stalin,  Nicolae Ceausescu of Romania, Yugoslav dictator Josip Broz Tito. He’s got an all-star lineup from the ninth circle of Hell.

Mind you these statues were not commissioned by Harlan Crow. No, they were pulled down from town squares all across Europe and Asia when the regimes they represented fell. The Lenin statue has white streaks of paint on it that were thrown by actual Russian protestors. According to The Washingtonian, which reported on Crow’s disturbing collection in detail, the statue of Gavrilo Princip had to be smuggled across the border between Serbia and Croatia for fear that it would be destroyed by Croatian border guards! Did you ever stop to think that maybe it should have been, Harlan?

According to Harlan Crow, he keeps all of this nightmarish memorabilia because he “hates” communism and fascism. Apparently he “hates” it so much that he wants to look at it every day. To … do what exactly? Remind himself of how much he hates it? I hate houseflies, Harlan, that’s why I don’t keep trash in my house. What’s your story?

This isn’t the first time that people have been taken aback by Crow’s collection. In 2015, Crow hosted a fundraiser event at his house during Yom Kippur. And he didn’t even take any of his “decorations” down. Yes, there were swasticas on his walls during the sacred Jewish holiday. People even took pictures.

The weirdest part of all is that Nazi artifacts aren’t the only pieces of “decor” he owns. Next to his original Hitlers, he keeps a Monet, a Rockwell, and even a painting by former President George W. Bush. He also has original documents signed by other dubious historical figures like Christopher Columbus, which he keeps next to original documents signed by his hero, Winston Churchill. I wonder what Churchill would have to say about Crow’s decorative taste? My guess is nothing positive.

Naturally, the troglodytes Harlan calls friends are attempting to defend the billionaire’s interior design choices on Twitter! One of them was just ratioed after posting how Harlan Crow “abhors tyranny,” saying that the claims that Crow is a Nazi sympathizer are “ludicrous.” Something tells me that they and their families were historically spared from the actions of Hitler and demagogues like him.

This rush of “friends” defending the billionaire isn’t surprising, since I doubt Harlan would surround himself with or spend his money (which at this point I wouldn’t be surprised to hear comes from a suspicious Swiss bank vault) on people who think his collection is a problem. I’m sure he’d call that “kink-shaming” but to be honest, a bit of shame sounds exactly like something Harlan needs.

(via The Washingtonian, featured image: Drew Angerer/Getty Images)


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Jack Doyle
Jack Doyle (they/them) is actually nine choirs of biblically accurate angels crammed into one pair of $10 overalls. They have been writing articles for nerds on the internet for less than a year now. They really like anime. Like... REALLY like it. Like you know those annoying little kids that will only eat hotdogs and chicken fingers? They're like that... but with anime. It's starting to get sad.