Bride-to-be realizes she can’t afford her wedding. So she decides to do a ‘Jack-and-Jill’ wedding: ‘I have never heard of this’

Weddings can get expensive.

According to The Knot’s 2026 Real Weddings Study, couples in the U.S. spend an average of $34,200 on their special day.

That is more than half of what the median full-time worker earns in a year, which data suggests is approximately $66,622.

So, in an attempt to fund-raise for some last-minute expenses, one bride-to-be says she decided to throw a “Jack and Jill” event. But not everyone understood what she meant.

In a TikTok video that got over 1.1 million views, creator Vanessa Rose (@vanessa_rose) says she was baffled by people thinking she and her fiancé were selling tickets to their actual wedding.

‘Wedding Planning Somehow Got Even More Insane’

“Guys, I’m getting married in two months, and I cannot pay for the rest of my wedding,” Rose jokes at the start of the video.

Then she explains what people apparently thought was happening.

“Me and my fiancé decided that we’re going to make our event public, and we are going to charge admission and sell tickets,” she says. “That’s what people literally think that I’m doing, but I’m really just having a Jack and Jill.”

According to Rose, people started asking her wedding party whether she and her fiancé were actually selling tickets to the wedding.

“Bro, has nobody ever heard of a Jack and Jill?” she says. “Like, is this common knowledge or no?”

Rose says she thought this was a normal pre-wedding event, so the confusion caught her off guard.

“My entire wedding party has hit me up, like, ‘Hey, I got people that are questioning, why is Vanessa selling tickets to her wedding?’” she says.

Other questions followed.

“’Why are they having a wedding if they can’t afford it? Why are they just inviting anybody to their wedding?’” she says people asked.

Rose insists that it is not what is happening.

“People are really acting like I’m asking the most,” she says, “and like I’m running a charity case right now for my wedding.”

What Is a Jack and Jill Wedding?

A “Jack and Jill” event most likely won’t pay for anyone’s entire wedding. It’s just an event meant to help out the couple with smaller costs.

Instead of a traditional bridal shower, where the focus is usually on the bride, a Jack and Jill party is a co-ed shower or pre-wedding event for both partners.

A Brides blog post describes it as a “couples shower,” where friends and family gather before the wedding to celebrate the future spouses. The event can include food, drinks, games, gifts, raffles, and, depending on the couple or region, optional fundraising.

Rose later posted a second video explaining that her Jack and Jill is separate from the wedding.

“A Jack and Jill is a coed shower,” she explains. “So instead of having a separate bridal shower and a separate stag party, they have a combined shower.”

In Rose’s case, she says tickets are $25 per person and include food, soda, wine, and beer. Liquor would be available separately through a cash bar.

“You’re just paying $25 to get food and drinks unlimited,” she says.

She also says the event is being thrown by the wedding party, not just the couple asking for money.

“The reason that the wedding party even throws a Jack and Jill is to help the bride and groom try to offset some of the cost that they just spent on their wedding,” she says.

Viewers Had Mixed Reactions

In the comments, some viewers said they had never heard of a Jack and Jill before but liked the idea once they understood it.

“I had to google what a Jack and Jill wedding was and I think it is awesome!” one person wrote. “I would have totally thrown one if I knew about it!”

They added that people “love to hate on things they don’t know about.”

Others were not sold.

“I have attended hundreds of weddings, both elaborate and low key,I have never heard of a jack and jill,” one commenter wrote. “People have the wedding they can afford.”

Another viewer said the concept itself was not the problem, but the wording needed more context.

“Where I’m from (the South), it’s called a Jack n Jill Shower,” they wrote. “You just have to add context I think.”

@vanessaa_rosee Wedding planning somehow got even more insane ?#2026bride #weddingtok #weddingplanning #2026wedding #wedding ♬ original sound – Vanessa Rose

The Mary Sue has reached out to Rose via TikTok messages for comment.

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