We Finally Know What Donald Trump Been High On — It’s Aspirin
Doctors advise, Trump decides.
Donald Trump has settled the mystery of his bruised hands, vacant stares, and rotting brain. It’s not stress or age. It’s aspirin. That too, taken in defiance of medical advice with the confidence that biology is optional.
In a Wall Street Journal interview published Jan. 1, the 79-year-old president bragged that he takes 325 mg of aspirin every day. And why? Because he wants, as he puts it, “nice, thin blood pouring through my heart.” That’s four times the 81 mg dose doctors typically recommend.
“They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart. I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?”
No, Mr. President. That does not make any sense. But we don’t expect sense from you anyway. “Thin blood” is not a health goal you freestyle your way into at nearly 80 years old.
A single Google search can clear it out that aspirin does not work the way Trump described. High-dose daily aspirin significantly raises the risk of internal bleeding, hemorrhagic stroke, ulcers, and dangerous bruising, especially in elderly patients. But Trump cited those same health problems as proof that his aspirin dose is doing its job. Yes, we’re still making sense of that, too.
Trump also acknowledged that doctors would prefer he take the smaller dose. But he proudly announced that he ignores them. “They’d rather I take the smaller one,” he said. “I take the larger one… I’ve done it for years.” So, medical advice is optional, but Trump’s gut is gospel. While the interview reveals that the president is freelancing with his own health, there’s a larger problem here.
Despite the risk of dangerous side effects associated with his bizarre aspirin dose, he keeps insisting his health is “perfect.” This gives the wrong message to his millions of listeners, who might be motivated to dismiss physician warnings now. In other words, the president is casually broadcasting dangerous medical nonsense to millions. And his logic is striking.
Trump described blood as if it were motor oil, arteries as pipes, and aspirin as a viscosity control additive. That cartoon understanding would be worrying for any patient. But it’s more worrying if it’s a sitting president propagating it. But Trump has already spent years undermining medicine, from flirting with bleach cures to politicizing vaccines. So, this wasn’t surprising. He’s at it again, this time with his own circulatory system.
In the same interview, Trump also dismissed rising concerns about falling asleep during public appearances. He claimed that he is merely “resting his eyes,” and it’s all the reporters’ fault for capturing an awkward frame. Anyone else smells a familiar pattern of denial wrapped in bravado? The bruises on his hands, he claims, are simply proof of commitment, not warning signs.
Doctors have repeatedly warned that routine high-dose aspirin use in older adults is often more dangerous than protective. But Trump’s response appears to be: trust me, I know better.
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