*places Darth Vader’s burned-out helmet on piano* *painstakingly picks out the piano part to ‘my immortal’ with one finger*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
There were a lot of things The Force Awakens did right. For instance, Kylo Ren. He’s Anakin done right. J.J. Abrams was able to pull off in one movie what George Lucas couldn’t in three. But I still can’t help but feel like there was something… missing from Adam Driver’s already brilliant performance. Something much more… emotional. Enter @KyloR3n.
@KyloR3n is a peek into the life of an emo Kylo Ren. This Twitter account is just full of the most perfect, precious, on brand point tweets that will have you rolling. That is, when you’re not listening to Linkin Park or Evanescence and being ~*~*misunderstood*~*~ by yourself in your bedroom. Check it:
SPOILERS FOLLOW. Not even kidding. Still not kidding. Turn around. Stop. Stahp. Okay, fine.
*serenading vader’s burned-out helmet* wake me up inside (i can’t wake up) wake me up inside
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
The account takes time to muse on such amazing things as haircare:
mom please don’t even pretend you know what I’m going through right now also we are out of conditioner
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
Manspreading:
i’m not manspreading i’m saving this seat for darth vader
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
Headwear:
*force-tosses you across the room* it’s a TRILBY
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
“Old Souls”:
*sighs* i wish i’d been born 60 years ago i guess i just have an old soul
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
And even ethics in somethingsomething…
it’s about ethics in Force journalism
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
The best part, though? He gets into an argument with a “verified” (not really) Han Solo account.
my dad just doesn’t understand me no one understands me but you grandpa
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
@KyloR3n its your goddamned fault bitch
— Han Solo (@HanSoloFA) December 22, 2015
@HanSoloFA shut up dad that’s hurtful
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
And the finisher:
@KyloR3n your fuckin lightsaber was pretty hurtful too, jackass
— Han Solo (@HanSoloFA) December 22, 2015
Dad’s got no time for your whiny fuss, kid. Dad’s got no time at all.
Oh, geez, I made myself sad.
—Please make note of The Mary Sue’s general comment policy.—
Do you follow The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?
