Are you a developer looking to get your foot in the door at an Internet company? Are you forced to use brain-splittingly awful websites every day? Do you shake your head and think, “Eh. I could do better?”
If so, you desperately need to intern at The Mary Sue. Do not try to resist. It is inevitable.
“Hold on,” you say, darting your eyes about confusedly. “What’s a ‘Mary Sue?’”
The Mary Sue is the geeky woman arm (I dunno, maybe it’s got a Triforce tattoo?) of the shadowy, all-powerful Abrams Media collective. We’re six sites reaching over 10 million people a month. We’re less than two years old. We’ve got big things ahead of us.
“But what will I do as an intern?” you ask, wringing your hands in anticipation, or possibly consternation.
You’ll join us in our offices (yeah, a loft in SoHo, exposed brick, no big thing), code, design, code, code some more, learn to be a Real Live Engineer (or Real Live Web Designer), etc.
“How can I get this wondrous gig?” you ululate, collapsing to the floor in paroxysms of excitement, perhaps foaming at the mouth a bit for effect.
It’s pretty simple.
SKILLS YOU’LL NEED
You’ll need to have some combination of the following (Obviously not every single one; 4-5 is a good number for an incoming apprentice. Everyone’s character class has different skills.):
- Knowledge of HTML/XHTML/CSS (We’re looking for a backend engineer, not a graphic designer. But you will need to create valid, well-formed code.
- Deep knowledge of PHP: If you don’t know how to do object-oriented programming in PHP, we’re sure you’re a wonderful person, but this is not the apprenticeship for you.
- MySQL: You should also have an completely unsupported opinion on the pronunciation of “MySQL;” you will be expected to defend it vigorously through appeals to emotion rather than reason. Also, things like JOINs, the judicious use of INDEXes, and so on.
- Knowledge of the LAMP stack: You won’t be expected to act as a sysadmin on Day 1. But you do need to know the key tasks of “making files show up on a website,” which you should know if you have ever made files show up on a website.
- A desire to learn new frameworks, languages, and development tools. While we’re probably not going to rip everything up and rewrite it all in Python (not yet, anyway) we like people who can adapt and pick up new techniques if the need arises.
WHY TO APPLY
If you turn out to be a clean coder with strong work habits, you’ll be given a chance to join our development team full-time at the conclusion of your apprenticeship.
We’re less than two years old; who knows how far you’ll go?
HOW TO APPLY
Email us the following:
- A resume/CV
- A cover letter explaining why you are the ideal person for this position
- 2-3 code samples: These should be representative samples of your web application work; send them in whatever format you think we’d like to view them in. They should demonstrate your knowledge of PHP, and at least one of them should have SQL queries in it.
Also, in your cover letter, tell us what your favorite video game of all time is, and why. (This is mostly so you can prove that you actually read the posting. But who knows, maybe it can spark a lengthy conversation.)
Send your stuff to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Applications are rolling, so get yours in NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.
Have a tip we should know? email@example.com