[Editor’s Note: Catch up on the rest of my Twin Peaks newbie recaps here!]
Episode 21: “Double Play”
We get a “lovely” close up on the corpse from last week and find out there’s a chess piece in his mouth. Agent Cooper thinks he knows the cause of death, and is correct, it was a knife wound. As far as other evidence, there’s not much but a piece of tree and two sets of footprints. Windom Earle caused the explosion to get everyone out of the station, “there won’t be any mistakes” says Cooper.
At the hotel, Audrey is trying to explain business to Bobby. They need to get her father back from limbo-land but she tells him in no uncertain terms, “From now on Bobby, I’m the one you suck up to.” And then he suddenly remembers Shelly even though he totally ditched her a few episodes ago. Speaking of Shelly, she’s in the dark with Leo who is upping the creep factor of an already horrific situation. She goes for one door but can’t get it open and when she makes a run for another he pushes the wheelchair in front of her which she falls over. “Bad girl,” he mutters while she tries the second door and WHAT THE FUCK WHY CAN’T SHE GET OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE??? Bobby comes back and hears her screams and gets into a tangle with Leo, who is now brandishing an ax like Jason or some shit. As Bobby is being choked to death, Shelly grabs a knife and stabs Leo in the leg. He runs off into the woods.
The FBI and DEA have cleared Agent Cooper of all charges but he’s still suspended BUT he’s also still a deputy so he’ll take this murder case for Harry.
Hawk says they’ve found Hank, who they expected to find at the drug bust, and he claims he was hit by a bus. He also tells them Shelly called to inform them Leo woke up. Andy tells Lucy he and Dick they think Nicky murdered his parents. She is appalled he would suggest such a thing and going to get to the bottom of it. Big Ed is at the R&R talking with Dr. Hayward about his situation with Nadine. “The extra adrenaline is dangerous,” he says, before laughing about how Nadine has apparently broken him with all the sex they’ve been having. IT’S NOT FUNNY SHE COULD KILL SOMEONE YOU’RE A DOCTOR. Geez. He also mentions Donna taking the van to see James but neither of them is very concerned. Norma tells Big Ed Hank was hit by a tree, he tells her the real story. They share a laugh and a romantic glance.
Oh zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Jeffrey introduces himself to James as Evelyn gives him seductive looks behind her husband’s back. She also says she can find plenty for him “to do.” After hubby takes off in the newly fixed car, she tries to convince him to stay but he’s now thinking this whole affair thing is wrong.
We find out Windom and Agent Cooper played chess every day for three years. Agent Cooper never won. He’s put his next move in the paper and all I can think is — why? This guy is playing murder chess and you think he’s going to kill someone with every move… what if you DON’T KEEP PLAYING? Jussssssst a thought. He also tells Sheriff Harry about Carolyn from the old case he was on with Windom and we learn not only was she stabbed just like the vagrant but Carolyn was Windom’s wife! Agent Cooper, you scamp. What would James think of you? Anyway, he thinks Windom killed her obviously but also committed the crime she witnessed also. And oh yeah, he probably faked the mental illness but doesn’t know right from wrong anymore.
Donna winds up at Willies right next to Evelyn and I don’t care. Oh god the James/Donna/Maddy recorded song starts playing and JAMES HAS MAJOR MAN PAINNNNNNNN.
Benjamin’s diorama is looking pretty great. He’s marching on Washington when Jerry comes in with Audrey and we see Dr. Jacoby has been studying him. Says he prefers to be called General. Oh dear. They’re just gonna wait it out? Jacoby is having way too much fun.
Major Briggs comes stumbling into the police station asking to see the Sheriff and collapses. What happened?? Well, he’s worried about the Air Force/his superiors, they seemed paranoid, he believes their search for the White Lodge isn’t ideologically pure. He was taken there but doesn’t actually remember anything. And um, he’ll be in the shadows if they need him. In another part of the station, Andy asks to show everyone something. TEEN WITCH is there, Jacoby says he’s “examined” her and she is definitely not cursed. She just has a heightened sexual drive and a working knowledge of technique and anatomy. They’re going bowling now OK BYE.
But before they can even get out of the building, Mayor Dwayne has them at gunpoint. Agent Cooper convinces him to talk first instead of shootign her and they stick them in a room alone together. With the gun. And so we wait. And Andy says, “It’s hard… waiting.” And I die. Yadda, yadda, yadda, Teen Witch and Dwayne fall in love and are going to adopt a child.
Suddely! Dramatic piano music! Totem poles! Peter forgot the weenies but Catherine says never mind all that, I wants to show you something and… reveals Andrew. They knew an attempt at his life was coming from Thomas Eckhardt, his business partner. Josie worked for him, and he’s coming to Twin Peaks.
IT’S SUE ELLEN MISCHKE! Boy, there is a lot of Seinfeld crossover on this show. Anyway, she’s at the Great Northern checking in with Eckhardt. OMG HE’S THE MCP/Chancellor Gorkon/Ra’s al Ghul/I LOVE YOU DAVID WARNER!
Dr. Hayward has Dick and Andy to join he and Lucy for a chat about the Nicky business. Hayward called the orphanage, Nicky isn’t a murderer! His mother was an immigrant worker at the hotel who was pregnant by rape and wound up dying during childbirth. Then, his dopted parents died in a car crash. So he’s alone again and don’t you two feel bad? Yes, they are sobbing their eyes out.
Sheriff Harry asks Agent Cooper to help him find out the truth about Josie and what went down in Seattle. James is packing again and Evelyn tells him, “I’ve never said I love you to anyone.” Really? REALLY? Your husband didn’t think that was odd? Anyway, the police show up, Jeffrey was in an accident, he’s dead. Oh yes, it was the car. “YOU SET ME UP!” he screams but she says it was Malcolm’s idea and that he’s not her brother. She tells him to go and he discovers Donna hiding on the grounds.
Leo is still stumbling around in the woods. OWL! He finds a cabin, but I don’t think he’s going to like who he found there. It’s Windom!!!
Episode 22: “Slaves and Masters”
We get a close up on a chess board and hey, this episode was “Directed by Diane Keaton!” Evelyn is dressed in black and immediately gives up James to the police. Like his real name. WTF? The officer is slightly Andy-like though so I’m sure James will be fine. James and Donna apparently think so too, they decided to go not just to a public place but the very place Evelyn hangs out at all the time. And the bartender is all up in their shit. Donna starts a call with Big Ed but the cop shows up just then.
Bobby is with Shelly at the police station trying to explain what happened and tells them they should be worried about Leo-stein. Agent Cooper reminds them of the night the mill burned and Leo was shot. Bobby says it was Hank. They might have asked them why he didn’t give that information up beofre but HEYYYYY Agent Rosenfield is back! He’s got direct orders from Gordon Cole who said “I’M WORRIED ABOUT COOP.” Windom has been mailing wedding items to police stations pretending to be bombs. They are Carolyn’s possessions.
Windom is playing a flute like instrument, in long johns, and starts telling Leo he’s found a bunch of info about him. Must be great internet access at the cabin. “I want you to help and obey me,” Windom explains as I wonder just how he’ll get Leo to comply. Hmm that’s an odd collar you’ve got on there, Windom. He takes it off himself, slaps it on Leo and it’s of course a shock collar.
Big Ed and Norma are in bed together reminiscing but like, weren’t they actually together for a while? Whatever. Nadine breaks the door off its hinge and gets in bed with them. She apologizes for hitting Hank but says it’s cool for them to do whatever because she’s got Mike. Oh ok.
Agent Cooper and Sheriff Harry go to speak to Josie, tell her they have to tell the Seattle police something. Peter and Coop have a ridiculous conversation over dry cleaning and a swinging door.
Agent Cooper is suspicious at the amount of dry cleaning there is and pulls hair or fibers off of one of the suits and keeps a glove. Josie gets a call from Thomas Eckhardt. He and Sue Ellen Mischke are with a giant trunk at the hotel which I’m sure is not for a body at all. Also at the hotel, Benjamin is on a fake donkey and we remember he has another kid besides Audrey. Jerry thinks there’s some advantages to leaving him this way but Audrey tells him she becomes executive of the estate if he’s incapacitated and he changes his tune. She asks Jacoby to bring her father back to the real world.
Evelyn is at the bar again. OWL ON THE COUNTER! Donna confronts her. Malcolm threatens her. I still don’t care.
Turns out the thread sample Agent Cooper grabbed is the same as traces found outside the floor of his room. The man who shot him! Bullets may be the same also, says Rosenfield. But Coop asks him not to tell Harry until they’re certain. The vagrant had the same last name as Carolyn’s maiden name but it’s just part of screwing with Agent Cooper. Sheriff Harry says they’ve got a chess expert in town who might be able to help with this whole “game”… it’s Peter! Agent Cooper asks him to help but doesn’t give details.
Shelly talks to Norma at the R&R while she cleans a giant plastic ice cream cone. Shelly is going to work there again. We also find out Hank is being charged with attempted murder and likely going away for a long time.
Josie opens the door for Eckhardt as a guest of Catherine who lays the murder cards right on the table. They’re talking about Josie like she’s not there and how they’re going to basically sell her back to him and this is all super gross. James goes back to confront Evelyn zzzzzzzzzzzzz… he is falling for her again like a big bone head. Malcolm hits him over the head and he’s out cold. Donna interrupts the murder plan, says she already called the cops. Evelyn shoots Malcolm instead. Can this storyline be over now?
Now this is more like it. Audrey is dressed up like a Southern Belle as Benjamin gets pulled into his office on the donkey. Jerry is her “dad” in this scenario as Bobby woefully plays the trumpet. Jacoby is the general. What exactly is this plan? I don’t care, this is highly entertaining. The general surrenders and Benjamin collapses. “I had the strangest dream,” he says, and they all have a good laugh.
Windom is putting on a ridiculous disguise and giving Leo shock therapy to teach him to write again? He also has a picture of Shelly, Donna, and Audrey, and asks “which should be my queen?” RUH-ROH!
Agent Cooper still has a photo of Carolyn in his wallet, awww. Windom literally walks right past him at the hotel and he doesn’t notice. OWL POSTCARDS!!! In his room Cooper finds a creepy mask in his bed (a death mask if the Log Lady intro has anything to say about it) with lit up eyes. There’s also a recorder underneath which goes off when he picks it up and is Windom talking about Carolyn… “your move.”
(captioned screecaps courtesy of TwinPeaksCaptioned.tumblr.com)
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