Where do you go after the OMGWTFPOLARBEAR of last week’s episodes??
[Editor’s Note: Catch up on the rest of my Twin Peaks newbie recaps here!]
Episode 15: “Drive with a Dead Girl”
We open on the Palmer house and I remember what happened last week and shiver. Leland is playing golf in the house when Donna and James show up to say goodbye to Maddy. He tells them he already dropped her off at the bus station. And Sarah is not dead, surprisingly, even though she was sort of there for the whole murder thing. Albeit passed out. We get a flash of Bob in the mirror!! OH GOD MADDY’S BODY IS IN HIS GOLF BAG IN THE CLOSET.
Benjamin is trying to clean his jail cell when Jeremy arrives and says he’ll be his lawyer. I’m sure that will work out wonderfully. Benjamin mentions he was with Catherine the night Laura died but they still don’t know she’s alive and well so they can’t exactly use that as his alibi. And then there’s a strange flashback to their childhood, which is hilarious, but seemingly serves no purpose.
Oh hey, A THIRD GILMORE GIRLS CAST MEMBER arrives in the form of Lucy’s sister Gwen. Agent Cooper and Sheriff Harry are at the hotel and see Leland dancing around with his golf club. They want to inform him they’ve arrested Benjamin. They do, but when he’s out of sight he laughs and continues dancing. Shiver. Dr. Hayward is at the station to take DNA samples from Benjamin. Agent Cooper recites Jeremy’s sad educational history and they reveal Laura’s secret diary which has some pretty damning chapters for Benjamin. When they’re alone, Jeremy tells him “your blood may have Laura’s fingerprints on it.” … …
Bobby is listening to the tape he found in Leo’s boot which has Benjamin discussing the arson with Leo. He decides he’s going to try and meet with him and take advantage of some sweet blackmail. At the R&R, Norma’s mom shows up and eats someone else’s mashed potatoes ??? before explaining she recently got married to Ernie, a financial analyst. Norma finds a newspaper with betting info on it(?). Later, Hank arrives after apparently being missing for 48 hours, and Norma’s mom is helping out behind the counter.
The one-armed man says Bob is close!!! Knocks out an officer and escapes out the window to find him! Peter comes to visit Sheriff Harry to tell him Josie is gone. Pete says, no offense, he loved her. They discuss the Asian man they both saw but had different names for.
Andy arrives to find Lucy holding her sister’s baby and… faints. Peter goes to see Benjamin in his cell and laughs. LOL. He has a message for him, a recording of Catherine! She references his alibi, saying she’ll take the mill and estates back from him, in exchange. Benjamin goes into a destructive phase in his cell.
Leland is swirving while driving to the golf course and Agent Cooper and Sheriff Harry are driving the opposite direction and are almost hit. Oh hey, he still has Maddy’s corpse in his trunk. He plays the Benjamin card to distract them. Says he remembers the night Laura died, hearing Benjamin argue with someone on the phone about a “dairy.” Laura’s diary! Leland is about to hit Agent Cooper with a golf club when they get a call that the one-armed man has been found.
Andy wants to talk to Lucy about his “sperms.” While Gwen keeps interrupting the conversation adding “Women beware,” about her newborn son and I guess, men in general. They tell her to shut up.
Also at the station, the one-armed man is studying Benjamin, but says Bob is not there now. Hmm. Sheriff Harry charges him with murder anyway. Agent Cooper, however, doesn’t think he’s the killer.
At the hotel, Norma and her mom are having dinner with Hank and Ernie. Apparently he was in jail with Hank. Oh geez. But Ernie is playing it straight. Of course Hank is going to use that. Agent Cooper tells Diane he’s very close to finishing the case when Audrey shows up. She wants to let him know she didn’t let anyone sleep with her at One Eyed Jacks. … He gets a call and tells her to go to her room and lock the door. They’ve found Maddy’s body.
Episode 16: “Arbitrary Law”
Agent Rosenfield rejoins the group of law men as dawn breaks on the day after finding Maddy. They found the letter O under her nail, found fox fur on her as well. Agent Cooper says he needs 24 hours to finish this. Rosenfield tells him to do whatever he can.
Donna and James meet and he… maybe proposes to her??? At the R&R Norma’s mom is finding problems with her food. Andy is having pie and speaking French? Donna and James overhear him. It’s what Harold had in his suicide note but Donna knows it in relation to the meals on wheels woman, more specifically, what her grandson said to her. She takes Agent Cooper there and OMG there’s someone else in her house! OMG THERE’S ANOTHER MRS. TREAMOND! OMG SHE DIED THREE YEARS AGO THAT WAS TOTALLY A GHOST. OMG OMG. But this woman, the daughter of Mrs. Treamond, knows Donna and has a letter for her. It’s a page from Laura’s diary. Laura had THE SAME DREAM THAT AGENT COOPER HAD!!!! The page also says Bob is only afraid of a man named Mike.
The one armed man is dehydrated and he needs his drugs but Agent Cooper is holding off so he can tell him more. When Bob and he were killing together it was a perfect relationship, he says, a golden circle… a ring! He tells Agent Cooper the giant can help him find Bob and he already have all the clues he needs to summon him. Dr. Hayward is just like, “WTF is happening right now?”
The room service guy shows up again and I find myself screaming at the television. He says the milk is getting warmer now. Rosenfield has the blood test results. At the station Andy wants to talk about the baby again. He calls DICK. Benjamin gets a visit from Mr. Tojamura… oh my god this is going to be great. As Benjamin rambles, Catherine reveals her foot and he doesn’t seem to get she still wants to make him suffer. A lot. He signs everything over to her and she says she’ll consider telling the police about their alibi.
Donna goes to see Leland to pass along the song they recorded with Maddy to her. He notices the sunglasses she’s wearing, which were Laura’s. She informs him of her secret diary and he gets a call from Maddy’s mom considering SHE HASN’T GOTTEN HOME YET. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE DONNA BOB IS COMING.
Leland thinks some music will help lighten the completely morbid mood in the living room. He asks Donna to dance and hugs her uncomfortably close. Luckily Sheriff Harry arrives and tells Leland they need his help with another murder. Donna goes off and meets James, tells him Maddy has been murdered. “We could have helped her,” says James, seemingly blaming both of them for her death?? James, I don’t even know what to do with you.
At the Roadhouse, Benjamin waits in a booth while Agent Cooper and Rosenfield sit at the bar. Sheriff Harry arrives with Leland. Big Ed too! Leo, Hawk, Bobby all arrive… Agent Cooper believes the killer is in the room. He’s relying on “magic” to figure it out. Someone is missing… Major Briggs with the room service man! Oh goddammit! He gives Agent Cooper a piece of gum, which Leland says he chewed as a kid and everything freezes.
Agent Cooper is seeing his dream, hears Laura say her father killed her! Lurch! The giant drops Agent Cooper’s ring on the floor. He asks Benjamin to go to the station with Leland as his attorney. Everyone else is left there wondering just what this was all about. Me too, frankly. At the station, Agent Cooper whispers something to Sheriff Harry… and they shove Leland in the interrogation instead of Benjamin and he starts running at the walls. They finally cuff him and he goes on to confess, references Agent Cooper’s past in Pittsburgh, says he’s going to leave Leland soon. Oh no…
Dick comes to the station, Lucy says she’s keeping the baby, and they’ll do a blood test once the baby is born. So there.
Agent Cooper starts making all the connections, Bob was spelling Robertson (his last name) with the letters under the women’s nails. Meanwhile Leland is reciting Fire Walk With Me and promises to kill again. The sprinklers go off. Leland starts banging his head against the metal door but they can’t get to him fast enough.
Bob is gone, Leland knows he killed Laura. She fought them, she couldn’t be possessed. Agent Cooper guides Leland to the light. And he dies.
Major Briggs is outside. They talk about whether Leland was insane or not. People still saw Bob in visions after all.
An owl flights at the screen annnnnnd scene.
(captioned screecaps courtesy of TwinPeaksCaptioned.tumblr.com)
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