Episode 5: “Cooper’s Dreams”
Agent Cooper is woken up by an awful racket and asks Diane to overnight ear plugs to him. Turns out the potential Iceland business investors are drunk and singing their hears out. Agent Cooper just gives up and finds Audrey is around for breakfast again. She fills him in about her new job and says she wants to help him with the case. He asks her how old she is, which is a long overdue question if you ask me. She’s 18. Benjamin and brother Jerry are discussing the “Nordic animals” who apparently are looking for some fancy gala and more schmoozing before they’ll sign any papers. They declare a road trip to One Eyed Jack’s is in order. Leland stops by to help with the investment group but they tell the sad sack to go home.
At Jacques Renault’s apartment, Sheriff Harry, Agent Cooper, and Dr. Hayward investigate the scene. The doc says the blood on Leo’s shirt is AB negative and therefor not Laura’s, however it is Jacques’ type. Oh look, there Agent Cooper finds something on the ceiling,
Anyway there’s some talk about the advertisements in the magazine, they find a naughty poloraoid of Bernard, and notice an ad for Leo’s truck in there as well. Speaking of, Shelley is cooking for Bobby at Leo’s house and we find out she dropped out of the 11th grade to marry him (kids, stay in school). Bobby is waving her gun around, including pointing it at her chest like it’s no big thing when Andy arrives to inquire about Leo. Shelley tells him about an argument Leo had with Jacques and he runs off to tell the boss when Leo calls. Norma stops by Big Ed’s where he explains that Nadine is talking to a patent attorney and she breaks the news about Hank’s parole. After realizing neither of them has told their spouse they’re leaving, Norma says, “Don’t call me.” Oh, you two!
We’re introduced to Emory Battis, manager or some such at Horne’s department store. Audrey meets with him to find out where she’ll be placed and upon finding out he isn’t going to put her at the perfume counter she tells him if he doesn’t she’ll rip her dress in half and scream, and then tell her dad he made a pass at her. Audrey, I’m very disappointed in you. Meanwhile Donna meets James who tells her about his dad who didn’t actually die when he was young? He was a musician who ran off, and his mom is an alcoholic who has some serious troubles of her own.
GOD I WANT SOME DONUTS!!!!!!!
Back at Jacques we see he and/or his brother had a thing for clowns and Agent Cooper sees a picture of a cabin with red drapes which reminds him of his dream. He seemingly rightly assumes Laura also had an ad in the Flesh World magazine and they decide to find this cabin. Madeline meets Donna and James at the R&R where they discuss possibly knowing who killed Laura and discuss some secret hiding place she had. A fresh-from-prison Hank is sitting behind them, so he’s probably listening. Nora and Shelley arrive after their beauty day and Hank informs her he wants to win her back.
Bobby’s parents take him to see Dr. Jacoby for some family therapy but he wants to be alone with Bobby. He presses him on Laura and he having sex and asks, “Did you cry?” It all devolved pretty quickly from there but Bobby admits Laura wanted to die and that she made him sell drugs.
Hawk, Sheriff Harry, Agent Cooper, and Dr. Hayward make the trek to a cabin in the woods and LOG LADY!!! IT’S THE LOG LADY’S HOUSE!!!!! She invites them in, “My log does not judge,” and “The owls won’t see us in here” are uttered and I can barely contain myself as she sasses them over bad manners. We get a little backstory about her here, namely that her husband apparently died the day after their wedding. She once again tells them her log saw something and Agent Cooper is forced to inquire directly to the log.
It’s the best. “I’ll do the talking,” says Log Lady after the question is posed. Uh huh. “The log” saw two men and two girls walking by the cabin and the owls were silent. Moving on from this wonderful nonsense, the team finds the cabin they were actually looking for. The hear singing and bust in door to find a record player, red curtains, Waldo the myna bird, film and a camera, twine, blood, and a cookoo clock which Jack’s chips roll out of.
Josie is smoking alone, clearly in Benjamin Horne’s office at the hotel while the Iceland gala carries on. Catherine and Peter show up and she proceeds to get sauced. Catherine sidles up to Benjamin and dumps champagne on his foot while Leland shows up, once again, uncontrollably upset. Audrey makes another visit to the secret passage and witnesses Benjamin trying to explain the poker chip Catherine found during their last encounter. There’s some slapping, some talks about burning the mill, and Benjamin says he’s giving Josie one last chance before they off her. Back in the thick of it, Leland is again compelled to dance and Benjamin begs Catherine to dance with him so he doesn’t make a scene. She decides to make it look like they’re doing some new popular dance crazy and everyone joins in. Except Audrey, who is crying. Gurrl.
Madeline finds a tape in Laura’s hiding place and make plans to meet with Donna while Benjamin goes back to his office for a secret meeting with Josie. He told her where to find the book Catherine was hiding. Oh geez, what is going on here!? While Leo comes home to pick up tanks of gas for his big arson job, Hank shows up and beats the snot out of him, “I told you to mind the store, not start a franchise.” Leo of course intents to take this out on Shelley, who’s finally had enough and shoots him. Woah! Agent Cooper returns to find his hotel door open, comes in armed, and finds Audrey naked in his bed.
We pick up with Agent Cooper talking Audrey down by reminding her she’s a high school girl, he’s an FBI agent. “You need a friend who will listen,” he says and goes to fetch them a malt and some french fries. (I ate in between episodes in case you were wondering).
Andy and Lucy are still acting awkward toward each other at work where she happens to take a call from a doctor. She was also out sick yesterday. Oh man she’s totally pregnant. Dr. Hayward and Harry are trying to get Waldo bird to talk but Agent Cooper doesn’t like birds. However, they have info that it was indeed Leo, Ronnette, Laura, and Jaques at cabin. They decide they need to investigate One Eyed Jack’s but since it’s over the border, Agent Cooper declares this a job for the Book House Boys in the most serious voice possible and I swear I didn’t giggle. Ok maybe I did.
Bobby goes to visit Shelley again but whoops, Leo is still alive (only got hit in the arm) and has a shot gun with a sight aimed at Bobby’s head. However, Leo has police radio and hears them talking about a “witness” who talks so he takes off. Madeline, Donna, and James listen to tape of Laura talking to Dr. Jacoby they found in her room and discover the secret of the doc liking her.
Audrey is trying to work and failing. She visits Battis’ office, searches it, and then hides in closet. He talks to another employee, Jenny, who also works at the perfume counter and gives her a unicorn figurine. They discuss her night at the club and he says if she’d like to work more she can call and ask for Black Rose. Audrey takes unicorn after they leave and uses it later to trick Jenny into giving her Rose’s number so she can get into the club. Hank is now working at the R&R and inquires about Big Ed with Shelley. And then steals someones’ lighter to reinforce he’s a bad guy to the audience. Nadine is at home, eating bonbons and watching Invitation to Love when Big Ed comes home. She’s apparently very sad over how her meeting with the patent attorney went.
Sheriff Harry and Pete talk taxidermy as Pete explains, “size isn’t everythign I guess.” Harry asks Josie about the motel visit and she finally admits she was staking out Catherine and Benjamin and tells him about the arson plans. Agent Cooper arrives for the Book House Boys’ big night out in a tux and flashing $10,000 in FBI money for them to gamble with. Wait a second, Coop, I thought this little outing wasn’t officially sanctioned…
Sheriff Harry fills Agent Cooper in on the Josie situation at least, and the two decide they’ll look into it later. Something tells me they should be giving it their undivided attention now. Anyway, the cover for their trip to Jack’s is that they are oral surgeons, which I guess is a decent cover job. Audrey has been trying to get a hold of Agent Cooper but keeps missing him. Meanwhile, Catherine talks with some life insurance agent and she’s confused because well, she didn’t take out any life insurance. The beneficiary is actually Josie, for a cool $1 million. This guy also reveals Horne was involved too and plays this guy so he doesn’t suspect anything is up. When he leave she goes to pull the book from its secret hiding place and finds it’s no longer there.
Waiting for Agent Cooper to return, Audrey see some Asian man checking into the hotel, while at the Sheriff station, Cooper is busy pulling out the most amazing fake mustaches and other disguises. They put an automatic starting tape recorder with Waldo who finally speaks Laura’s name. And then Leo shoots it. :( But they have the recording and besides “Laura” the bird also said the phrases, “Don’t go there,” “Hurting me,” “Stop it,” and finally, “Leo no!”
At Jack’s, Black Rose (“Blackie”) greats the fellas and… Big Ed was not cut out for undercover work. “I own a gas station” he says before getting a glare from Agent Cooper and quickly adding, “I’m an oral surgeon.” Oh, Ed. Since Hawk is outside on surveillance duty they go to work gambling to fit in. Agent Cooper is great at it, and poor Ed is not. However, Jacques is there dealing Black Jack. At the hotel Jerry and Benjamin are still partying with Iceland folks and finally head to Jack’s. But before he leaves, Benjamin calls Josie, who is with Hank and good lord what a tangled web we weave. But Audrey went to Jack’s as well to see Blackie and takes after Ed with her sneaky skills by calling herself Hester Prim of all things. But it’s cool, she knows how to tie a cherry stem with her tongue so she’s totally hired. Can’t wait for them all to run into each other next episode!
Madeline sneaks out with Leland sitting in the dark, though he sees her anyway. She meets up with James and Donna in a blond wig for their big plan. They call Dr. Jacoby and pretend she’s Laura to lure him out of his office. Naturally, he has gun. They’ve left him a VHS with her and today’s paper to prove she’s the real deal and he does go out to find her but Bobby has also witnessed “Laura.” Donna and James enter his office, which Bobby also conveniently sees and puts coke in James’ bike while they’re gone. There’s someone lurking at Madeline and… that’s it! Dang it, that was a little anti-climactic.
(captioned screecaps courtesy of TwinPeaksCaptioned.tumblr.com)
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