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Donald Trump Invents Imaginary Colorado Border Wall to Go With Imaginary Mexico Border Wall

Donald Trump makes a pouty face in front of an American flag.

It shouldn’t surprise me that Donald Trump doesn’t know basic geography, and yet here I am, confused by a statement that the President of the United States made. At a rally in Pittsburgh, Trump stood up before my fellow Pittsburghians and claimed that his wall was going to be big and great (something I have literally been hearing for 4 years now that he’s tried to claim is actually underway, despite that he has built exactly 0 miles of border wall/fence where none previously existed) and that it would stretch across all the states that Mexico touches, like a racist Mufasa.

mufasa and simba

“Everything the light touches.”

According to President Trump, Colorado apparently borders Mexico and that’s how he’s going to win Colorado in the upcoming election. For reference, the states that border Colorado are the following: Utah, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Kansas, and Wyoming. Notably, it borders no other countries—not even Mexico. So his idea that it would have a wall? Baffling, unless he thinks New Mexico is part of Mexico?

He went on to say “And Louisana’s incredible,” and … does that mean that Trump is going to build a wall to Louisiana? You know, the state that literally doesn’t touch land to the south? Has the president ever looked at a map of the United States? Is he going to wall out the ocean?

The Washington Post said that those in the crowd who realized what he said started to laugh or exchange looks. While I’m not happy they were there, I am glad that some of my Pittsburgh brothers and sisters openly laughed at the president not knowing where states are located.

Even the Governor of Colorado had a zinger for Trump, tweeting,

But I want to go back to Louisiana for a second because yes, Colorado is wild, but Louisiana borders water. Does he think Mexico owns that water? Does he think people are going to swim up to the swamplands of Louisiana? Has Trump seen Swamp People Whatever, Trump is now trying to say it was a joke, but I don’t know, jokes normally make people laugh with you, not at you.

I’m team “The president doesn’t know geography and will go out of his way to prove that he’s always right even when he very clearly is wrong.” Look, everyone has verbal slip-ups from time to time, but if Donald Trump is going to so childishly refuse to admit to any, ever, and chooses to unnecessarily defend them instead, then he deserves all the mockery he gets for it.

(image: BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP via Getty Images)

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Rachel is an I, Tonya stan who used to have a poster of Frank Sinatra on her wall as a kid. She loves superheroes, weird musicals, and wants Robert Downey Jr. to release a new album. She is Leslie Knope and she's okay with that. At least she gets to live in New York City though!