‘The male loneliness epidemic remains a mystery’: Woman goes on date with Tinder match. He asks for a second date—but only if she obeys his ‘rules’

Modern dating is exhausting enough without accidentally stumbling into a job interview for the position of “controlled girlfriend.” One woman says her perfectly average Tinder date took a bizarre turn the very next day.

Apparently, the man followed up not with flirtation, but with a full list of conditions she’d need to “obey” to qualify for a second outing.

The requirements? No drinking, no girls’ nights, and full phone access. As the final kicker, none of those rules applied to him. Naturally, the internet responded the only way it could: by wondering how someone can demand a live-in surveillance partner and still complain about the “male loneliness epidemic” in the same lifetime.

What is the Male Loneliness Epidemic?

Before getting into the thick of it, one must understand the recent phenomenon that seems to be plaguing society around the globe. The ‘Male Loneliness Epidemic’ was first coined by U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. While he didn’t specifically say it was only a male-centered phenomenon, it quickly snowballed there with social media.

The name itself leads one to think that it’s simply about men dealing with feelings of loneliness or isolation. However, due to the nature of the internet, men have turned it against women. Their argument stems from the idea that they’re lonely because women are too picky, or hate men. This shifted the blame onto women.

The reason this concept was brought up in Violet’s (@datewithviolet) TikTok is that the men who tend to follow that belief usually behave like the one Violet encountered. Oftentimes, these types of men feel they are superior to women, and as such, they should obey what they say. Just like how Violet’s Tinder date wanted to do to her.

What Happened After The Tinder Date?

Violet’s story has over 3,000 comments from its 600,00 viewers. It begins with her text overlay reading: “A guy from tinder told me I needed to OBEY his rules if I wanted a second date.”

From the outset, Violet reveals that she “bid him off,” and she predicts this will make the women side with her while the men might get angry.

To be fair, Violet claims that on the first date, the man seemed “nice.” She notes that there weren’t any “sparks” flying, but she thought she should give him a chance. The date ends, and they part ways. It’s the day after when he finally reveals his true colors.

What Were The Rules?

Violet reads his text from her phone for the viewers, starting with, “I expect women to behave a certain way when dating me.” He then goes on to say that he will give her rules that she needs to “obey” if she wants to be on the same “level” as him. The rules were:

• Banning her from alcohol. Apparently, when she asked for a second glass of wine on their date, he was almost “put off” by pursuing her.
• Delete all dating apps from her phone. Apparently, he will check her phone to confirm.
• She will need to give him her phone password so he knows she isn’t on any dating apps. “You do not have access to my phone under any circumstances,” he commands.
• The last rule is that she’s not allowed to have girls’ night because it’s “an excuse to lie and cheat.”

What Happens Next?

After listing out all his rules, the Tinder date again reiterates that the second date can’t happen unless she complies. His last words are: “I don’t chase, I choose. Pick you up at 7 on Friday?”

Violet shares that naturally, her immediate reaction was to screenshot and send to her girl friends.

“You can’t really think that you can talk to a woman like that,” she says. “Like, that’s actually disgusting behavior.”

Violet also speculates that he is hiding something, since he wants her to delete dating apps but refuses to give access to his phone. Lo and behold, Violet finds him again on the dating app. She ends the clip asking her viewers for opinions.

@datewithviolet

♬ original sound – Violet ?

‘Dude is a grade A psychopath’

As usual, TikTok viewers are not holding back with their comments. “Hitler had fewer rules,” says a comment with over 3,000 likes. Another sarcastically says, “The male loneliness epidemic remains a mystery.”

One viewer simply states, “Dude is a grade A psychopath.” While another shares, “I think it’s very kind of him to hang out all those red flags for you to see before you commit to the second date.”

Some viewers share what their response to the text would have been. One viewer says, “I’d reply ‘Thank you for your enlightening message. Unfortunately, i can’t stoop to your level, as a am looking for an equal.’”

A second viewer says she would’ve said, “I busy on friday, that’s my girls night.’”

Finally, one viewer claims, “Christian Grey from Wish…Absolutely not. Glad you’ve thrown him in the bin.”

The Mary Sue reached out to the creator via TikTok direct message.

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