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Woman Uses The Ol’ “Zombie” Excuse For Assaulting Stranger

Sorry Officer, my teeth slipped!



Sure, stories of disturbed individuals acting irrationally can make for amusing headlines, but they’re inherently sad, too (no one ever dreams of making the news for driving drunk dressed as Buddy the Elf, but here we are). For example, this one recent bit of weird Internet news comes with a valuable lesson for us all: insatiable hunger for brains does not justify violence.

A story published yesterday in Oregon’s The Register-Guard explains,

A woman who claimed she was “playing the zombie game” allegedly broke into another woman’s house to bite her early this morning. The Coos County Sheriff’s Office responded to an Eighth Street home in Lakeside where a 37-year-old victim told deputies she had been attacked by an unknown female. The victim said a woman in a dark hooded sweatshirt and jeans broke into the residence and pushed her down the stairs, pulled her hair and bit her. The attacker then left the home and went outside to sit in the victim’s vehicle, the victim told deputies.

I can’t begin to imagine how horrifying it must be to wake up to a stranger (and not, you know, a roommate’s cat) biting you. Hopefully everyone involved recovers from the incident soon, and may the good people of Oregon no longer be plagued by visits from the undead. Zombies are over!

Previously in zombies

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