We’ve been wondering for weeks who the dead bodies in the water are on HBO’s The White Lotus, and the series’ second season not only delivered the identities of the corpses but left us all with a weird happy ending for those not deceased.
The White Lotus Season Two Finale Spoilers.
Despite thinking she might be the Benoit Blanc of The White Lotus universe, we saw the end of Tanya McQuoid-Hunt (Jennifer Coolidge). It appears that “the gays” as they are referred to, are working with Tanya’s husband Greg (Jon Gries). During a panicked phone call with Portia (Haley Lu Richardson), it is revealed that Greg gets none of Tanya’s money if they get divorced. If she dies, however, it all goes to Greg—the same Greg that was very upset that Portia was on this trip and insisted they go to Sicily.
In a panic, Tanya finds a gun and pulls the most ridiculous La Femme Nikita and finds herself on a boat with a bunch of dead gays. In typical Tanya fashion, she manages to escape murder, but rather than take the stairs down to the small boat to escape, or take her shoes off, she tries to climb from the railing and jump, but hits her head and falls into the water.
Ciao.
It is not a dignified end for Tanya, but it is the ending she deserves. The White Lotus writer/director Mike White has given us a cast of rich assholes for a reason. That makes me extra glad that our working girls, Mia (Beatrice Grannò) and Lucia (Simona Tabasco), not only walked out with their lives but better than before.
Mia managed to not only help Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore) have a healthy sexual experience but got a singing and piano job out of it. Lucia hustled and performed femininity so well that she got sweet white knight Albie Di Grasso (Adam DiMarco) to wire her 50,000 euros. Yes, it is a scam, but it is money that the Di Grassos can afford. I’m seeing it as reparations for all the lousy sex worker representation in Game of Thrones, where they had women just giving sex away for free because of a big penis. Nope. It’s a job. Pay up.
The Di Grasso men are all not wise and think with their dicks, but with Albie exchanging money for helping his father reconcile with the women in the family, they at least leave more unified than they came. The tech foursome also leaves happy, with everyone having gotten some revenge sex or intimacy with someone. Meghann Fahy, as Daphne Sullivan, was serving toxic feminity, which was terrific. She stole the finale.
I can see why this might be underwhelming for some, but while watching White Lotus, part of it is that you don’t know where things are going. Not everything needs to end with all the characters dying to be satisfying. Catharsis doesn’t always look the same for people with money on vacation. The ending where Albie and Portia run into each other at the airport and Albie confirms Tanya’s death to Portia is great because while Portia expresses emotion for a second, it ends with them exchanging numbers as they wait for their flights home. Portia wanted a taste of danger for the thrill of it, and Albie wanted to save a woman, and they both ended up getting caught up in the bullshit. Stick to the basic rivers and lakes you are used to.
I hope that for season three, we get another installment in the Greg storyline. It would be excellent for one character to return, but who? If I had to pick someone, my money would be on Portia. She’s now the glue that connects the chaos, and I want to see more of her chaotic outfits.
What did you think of the season finale? Better or worse than season one?
(featured image: HBO)
