Who knew that the life an accountant could be so exciting? Here I was thinking it was all boring number crunching when really it’s all about crunching people’s bones! Assassins! Intrigue! So many guns! Here are the best movies like The Accountant, for the violent bureaucrat in all of us.
John Wick
John Wick is a modern cinema classic, one of the greatest action flicks of the 21st century. The franchise has churned out some of the most heart-pounding, brutal, and stylish thrillers ever committed to the silver screen. The plot of the original is simple: A retired hitman seeks vengeance against the Russian mob after the boss’s son murdered his dog. Big mistake. The film is directed by stuntman-turned-action auteur Chad Stahelski and stars Keeanu Reeves in what is arguably his best role. It’s a movie made by stunt performers, for stunt performers. The action, unsurprisingly, does not disappoint.
Atomic Blonde
Mad Max: Fury Road gave rise to Charlize Theron’s newfound career as an action movie star, and Atomic Blonde follows in the former film’s post-apocalyptic tire tracks. David Leitch’s Atomic Blonde stars Theron as an MI6 agent who has to recover a top secret dossier from a deadly ring of spies during the fall of the Berlin Wall. It’s a stylish, technicolor neon action film similar to John Wick, with combat sequences that are as beautiful as they are brutal.
The Killer
Most acton flicks are about super competent hitmen heroes who execute their enemies with flawless tactical acumen. Michael Fassebender’s nameless assassin in The Killer is not one of them. Despite his tough-as-nails posturing, he’s a bit of a goof. After screwing up an assassination in Paris, his runs afoul of his handlers, who now see him as a loose end to be eliminated. He attempts to escape from the clutches his former employers, bumbling through his best laid plans. Director David Fincher was obviously sick of everything going right for action heroes, and made a flick where it all goes gloriously wrong.
Extraction
Sam Hargrave’s Extraction stars Chris Hemsworth in one of his darkest roles to date. Hemsworth plays a career mercenary who struggles with PSTD, and as a result becomes a thrill-seeking loner with a death wish. The mercenary decides to take a “one last job” protecting the young son of an Indian drug lord. He has to extract the poor kid from a city-turned-war zone by feuding drug gangs. It’s a grounded action film with none of the Avengers-style “no one really gets hurt” fight scenes. People die, and die violently, and the film is better for it.
The Equalizer
Denzel Washington stars as the titular Equalizer, a once famed assassin who is committed to putting his violent past behind him … until he meets a young woman who is being trafficked by the Russian mob. He goes on a John Wick-style rampage against Russian organized crime, executing his enemies with deadly efficiency. It’s a bloody film not for the faint of heart, with Denzel often resorting to improvised weapons like nail guns with deadly efficiency—you know, standard job requirements for any regular accountant.
Kimi
Steven Soderbergh’s Kimi stars Zoë Kravitz as an agoraphobic tech worker named Angela, who discovers evidence of a nasty crime while reviewing data from an in-universe smart device called “Kimi.” It’s basically what would happen if Siri or Alexa were witness to a murder, and some poor Silicon Valley type had to do something about it. In order to bring the criminals to justice, Angela has to do the one thing she fears most: leave her house. If you wanna live the action-packed life of an accountant, I’m afraid that it’s a necessary evil. And learn how to use a nail gun as an offensive weapon. It’s standard issue for accountant types. Angela had to learn the hard way.
Sicario
Before Denis Villeneuve was embroiled in massive sci-fi epics like Dune, he developed the tight action thriller Sicario. It’s the story of two FBI agents who are attempting to stop the machinations of the Sonora Cartel, one of Mexico’s most notorious gangs. After finding corpses lining the walls of a booby trapped house, the pair teams up with Delta Force soldiers a lawyer-turned-CIA assassin named Alejandro Gillick. In their efforts to bring down a top ranking member of the cartel, the agents realize that Gillick has more skin in the game than just criminal justice. He’s on a personal revenge quest, the violent pursuit of which is enough to make anyone consider quitting law enforcement (or accounting) for good.
Nobody
Bob Odenkirk stars as an unlikely action hero in Nobody: mild mannered office worker Hutch. After a break-in at his home, Hutch goes on a quest to recover his young daughter’s stolen bracelet, which he believes the thieves took. In a display of violence uncharacteristic of a corporate America drone, his ruthless pursuit of justice causes him to run afoul of the Russian mob. It’s pretty standard accountant stuff. John Wick, The Equalizer, pretty much every bureaucrat has to deal with Russian criminal gangs at some point in their career. For Hutch, that time is now.
The Bourne Identity
The Bourne Identity was a seminal action flick, laying the groundwork for the modern espionage action thriller. Matt Damon stars as Jason Bourne, a former assassin with no recollection of his past. After besting a hitman attempting to bring his accounting career to an end, Jason Bourne has use his skills to uncover the mystery of his previous employers, a shadowy organization known as Treadstone. It’s not gonna do his accounting career any favors. How is he gonna get another accounting job if he ends up killing all of his former employers? He’s got no references for a new employer to call. They’re all dead. His resume is useless at this point.
Oldboy
Some people chose the action-packed life of an accountant, and some people have accountancy thrust upon them. The main character of Oldboy falls into the latter category. A drunken Korean salaryman is abducted one night and forced to stay locked inside of a room for over a decade. He has no idea who is imprisoning him, and he has no idea why. If that wasn’t confusing enough, he is one day inexplicably released from his captivity. Determined to find answers, the former salaryman attempts to track down the people responsible for his capture. He’ll soon find out that some questions are best left unanswered.
