The Best Aquarius Anime Characters
*”Alien Superstar” by Beyonce starts playing* Heyyyyy bitchesssss! Oh my god I love this song. It’s all about being UNIQUE. And guess what? I’m unique. I’m an individual. You might not know it yet, but by the end of the night you’ll see that I’m one of the most original people here. There isn’t anyone else in this entire club like me. Who’s that Pisces crying in the corner? How unoriginal. Oh my god, look at that Leo dancing on the bar. She obviously wants attention. Me? I don’t need any attention to know I’m special. You know why? Because I’m an Aquarius bitch. What’d you say? So is 8.3 percent of the global population? Yes, I’m aware, but out of the 646,000,000 other Aquarians on planet Earth there’s still only one of me. SO to celebrate me, I’m creating a list of anime characters who are totally original and not cliche bitches.
They’re still not as unique as me, but w/e.
Ban is such a trendsetter. Out of all the people in the whole Kingdom of Leones, he’s one of only seven people who make up the Seven Deadly Sins. And of the Seven Deadly Sins, he represents an individual sin, the sin of Greed. Ban is also the only sin that can live forever. Seriously, he’s immortal. That makes him the most individual person on the planet because no one else can live forever. He’s going to be the most original person in the world for all time. Now that is some Aries energy right there, am I right? Yes, I am. Ban is also a legendary thief and it’s the reason that he’s immortal. He went out on his own to steal some water from the Legendary Fountain of Youth. He was successful (duh he’s an Aries) and now he gets to be totally hot for all eternity. Like an Aries, he’s also really down to help humanity. He wants to destroy the demon clan that is responsible for killing his lost love so nothing like that ever happens to another person ever again. He’s a citizen of the world. He’s an individual with a cause. We love it.
Oh my god Mikasa Ackerman is such an original it isn’t even funny. She’s literally the best soldier in the Scout Regiment (except for Levi Ackerman but w/e who cares about his Capricorn ass). Nobody can fight like her. Her superiors have been quoted to say that she’s worth more to the military than “100 officers” and I’m like duh. Why would you want to be like 99 other people when you could be 100% yourself. Mikasa also fights for a super cool cause, her adoptive brother (and like … kinda secret incest crush?) Eren Jaeger. And you know what? I’m cool with that, because incest is so unique. Like seriously who do you know who has a crush on somebody in their immediate family? For the amount of porn made about step-siblings getting it on you’d think one person you know would be down to do it in real life right? Well bitches, Mikasa Ackerman is that person. She is down bad for her stepbrother in the real world and is not afraid to show it. She’s an incest icon.
Speaking of Aries bitches who love their brothers, Edward Elric is doing shit to help out his little brother all the time. I get it, the “I have to protect my family” anime main character motivation is kinda unoriginal, but Edward does it with a style that is totally unique. For one, he’s the youngest state alchemist in history, and is able use alchemy without having to use a tired old transmutation circle to do it. He has this power because he’s one of the few people on the planet who have literally met God. Yeah, that’s right. Edward Elric is so fucking unique that he literally observed the eldritch Truth of the Universe. The Ultimate Originator (I bet God is totally an Aries too). And he does it all so he can return his little brother’s soul back to his original body. What a cause. What a fucking legend.
Haruhi hasn’t done anything as crazy as meeting God, but they’re still super original in Oran High School Host Club. After all, they’re one of the few non-binary/gender nonconforming characters in the history of anime. They also have a super pansexual vibe, and say that they can be attracted to anyone based on who that person is on the inside. In a medium that tends to skew pretty straight, Haruhi Fujioka is a total LGBT icon. Haruhi is the only person in her entire school that experiments with gender on the day-to-day. Sure the other members of the Host Club do drag from time to time, but Haruhi’s whole existence is about fucking with gender norms. And people love them for it. Haruhi is one of the most popular hosts in the entire school, they even give the host club’s crown prince Tamaki Suoh a run for his money. They’re also one of the few people who are ballsy enough to be middle class in a school full of rich snobs. They introduced the entire school to the concept of “instant coffee”. Trendsetter? Influencer? We think so.
Speaking of trendsetters, Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service is a total innovator. Unlike most thirteen-year-olds who are doing totally unoriginal things like going to high school, Kiki has a full-time job. And not just some coffee shop job either, she is the CEO of a start-up company. Kiki has cornered the market on local airborne mail deliveries. What a boss bitch. How did she do it? By being something that so many cliche bitches only wish they could be: a fucking witch. That’s right. Kiki is a witch who flies around on a magic broom and everything. And some people might say that’s unoriginal, but I’d argue that she’s a trendsetter because she’s bringing back some retro 1600s witch style. So many bitches think they’re trendy because they bought something from a thrift store from 1980, but which one of those bitches can say that they’re bringing back a style that’s 400 years old? When they show up to the club in pilgrim hats maybe then I’ll think they’re original.
But Kiki is a totally individual fashion icon without even trying to be. Also, like lots of people, she talks to her cat. But how many people can say that their cat talks back? That’s right. Kiki is so original and talented that she can understand what cats say. And she does it all because she has a cause that she believes in: delivering the mail. How many postal workers do you actually know? Probably zero. You unoriginal bitch. Meanwhile, Kiki has the guts to be one.
Fuck this club, I’m leaving to get a job at the post office to work for the government. Because I’M AN INDIVIDUAL.
Featured image credit: Wit Studio
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