If you want to be stuck in a movie theater seat until your 111th birthday, Peter Jackson has your back. The extended edition of the Hobbit trilogy is coming to movie theaters, and you'll never see the light of day again.

Oscar-winning Australian cinematographer Andrew Lesnie, beloved for his work on the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Hobbit films as well as I Am Legend, Babe, the 2005 King Kong, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes, passed away yesterday at 59 of an apparent heart attack.

Welcome back, fellow Tolkien fans (or just those curious about the extended edition of Middle Earth)! It’s been awhile since my last recap. I had a baby, no big deal! It’s taken some time to eek out brief minutes to write about Tolkien again, but here we are. And this one’s a doozy.

Have you ever watched a movie and go, wait, where do I know that person from? Well, Amazon has a solution for that. It's called the X-Ray, and it will answer all your questions.

How It Should've Ended teamed up with Screen Junkies for this one, so hit the jump for the crossover Battle of the Five Armies Honest Trailer with a bit of HISHE in it too.

Welcome... to MIDDLE-EARTH!

The boy's father assured officials that his son lacks the magical power to back up his statements. "He's a total squib."

I’m going to admit it up front: I love J.R.R. Tolkien’s work. I’m particularly fond of Middle Earth but my favorite book is not The Lord of The Rings. It’s The Silmarillion. I know, I know, that dry historical tome that reads like a bible? YES. That one. I love it. It is epic and dark and lyrical and poetic. It’s also kind of banana pants.

The Hannibal gods are good, Fannibals, because Richard Armitage has landed a role in the show's new season. (Spoilers for possible season three plot points!)

This cake was made by cake and chocolate artist Karen Portaleo for the Downton Abbey Season 5 premiere party. It took 18 hours to make. May there be many more Maggie Smith cakes and statues to come. (via Jezebel)

When you're auditioning for a part that someone's already played before you, it can be difficult to find your own voice. But as poor Eddie Redmayne told those in attendance at The Graham Norton show last night (including Anna Kendrick), what you should probably not do is forgo your own voice entirely and do your best Ian Holm impression, because that probably won't go over very well.

The Elvish smiths of Gondolin had their priorities straight: having an early-warning system for nearby goblins and orcs is all well and good, but finding accessible Wi-Fi networks is just as important. And now, thanks to the work of some enterprising nerds over at Spark.io, Sting's true web-cutting potential has finally been revealed!

Going by movie order, The Battle of the Five Armies is Revenge of the Sith, but if we're looking at quality, it's The Phantom Menace all the way. While not as bad as The Phantom Menace, it's still the runt of the Middle Earth family. The Faramir, if you will. Except Faramir is the greatest, and he treats women a helluva lot better than The Battle of the Five Armies does. This review contains major spoilers for how things go down in funkytown.

Total humblebrag, but I saw Battle of the Five Armies at the Toronto premiere and Peter Jackson sat directly behind me because he had never seen it in IMAX before. I have never been so conscious of how I react while watching a film. Also, Lee Pace looks glorious in a plaid suit. That is all.

Ah, yes, I remember that passage of The Two Towers well. You know, the one where Cookie Monster is all, "Not were Minas Tirith falling in ruin and me alone could save her, so, using weapon of Dark Lord for good and glory. Me not wish for such triumphs, Frodo son of Drogo.” and then Frodo is like "Okay great, but can I have my chocolate chip cookies back?" and then Cookie Monster roars "NO NEVER, MINE ME OWN ME PRECIOUS OM NOMN NOM NOM," and then Sam cries a bunch.

Among other things, Smaug also believes that his negative portrayal in the media is due to a liberal Hollywood bias, calls out the dragon triplets from Game of Thrones, invokes the Stand Your Ground law while defending his attempted murder of Bilbo Baggins, corrects Colbert's pronunciation of his name, and calls Benedict Cumberbatch a hack. What a most specially greedy, strong and wicked worm.

Lena, aka Nokeek on DeviantArt, has created a few nerd-themed holiday cards we thought you might like. Mostly because they feature Doctor Who, Sherlock and other British favorites. And we threw in a few others we thought you might like as well.