What I know about the stock market I’ve learned from things like American Psycho and The Wolf of Wall Street. So basically I know there are business cards, suits, and drugs. That’s it. So imagine my shock and awe when I logged on to Twitter today to see a lot of jargon about stocks, the economy, and GameStop on my timeline.
Luckily, our Jessica Mason knows way more than me about the stock market and wrote up what’s happening. You could explain it to me ten times over and I’d still just hear Huey Lewis and the News playing in the distance.
But at least I’m not alone. Everyone is making jokes. Do you guys also not understand anything happening? Like … why was this not taught in school for this exact moment? You’d think when they explained that the stock market crash caused the Great Depression that they’d explain it, but … nope. I just imagine that all the numbers said “we out” and left, and that’s what happened. I want to participate in this discussion or understand if I should be spending money to own AMC. (Is that how this works? Do you own the thing? I truly don’t have a clue.)
the stock market is literally literally literally just vibes
— Amy, 2022 Mothman Festival Queen (@cableknitjumper) January 27, 2021
“It’s a movie theater stock that’s extremely undervalued right now, yes I know it’s a pandemic” pic.twitter.com/3sXVRG5JMx
— 🐪 Miskeen and 5’14” (@MoodyKnowsNada) January 27, 2021
my tl every other day vs today pic.twitter.com/zjKRHfpPid
— Washed up psycho rob (@catholicdad420) January 27, 2021
Explaining how a subreddit named WallStreetBets has turned GameStop from a $17 stock to a $300 stock
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) January 27, 2021
me trying to understand the GameStop stock news pic.twitter.com/n90sW68Qpl
— jake faris (@fake_jaris) January 27, 2021
me, reading explanations about the gamestop stock thing pic.twitter.com/Img8k98zDX
— E. Alex Jung (@e_alexjung) January 27, 2021
prayers for girls whose boyfriends just said “should i try to short the gamestop stock” despite not knowing what a 401k is
— rebecca jennings (@rebexxxxa) January 27, 2021
Twitter rushing to buy amc stock pic.twitter.com/n3NxBtLaje
— John (@iam_johnw) January 27, 2021
when the SEC asks why you’ve been buying and selling diminishing amounts of AMC stock all week pic.twitter.com/tv30IwBAqM
— trevb (@trrvvb) January 27, 2021
Just bought stock in AMC. No clue what I’m doing. I feel like her. pic.twitter.com/xJSiSOcCSw
— Fleetwood Max (@FleetwoodMax__) January 27, 2021
GameStop sitting amongst Tesla and Amazon after reddit users make it a Fortune 500 company pic.twitter.com/AVUtcjs6gl
— Jordan Deeb (@Jordan_Deeb) January 27, 2021
“The Treasury currently does not have an opinion on whether or not it is worth trading NBA 2K19 for three dollars of store credit used towards a Funko pop” https://t.co/YZG7tFnVMe
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) January 27, 2021
Biden team signing up for a rewards card so they can get 10% extra back on their copy of Madden 21 https://t.co/s1CcLrCt1R
— Jason Schreier (@jasonschreier) January 27, 2021
twitter right now: pic.twitter.com/Hclezfy5Th
— penne benne (@pasta_ben) January 27, 2021
Anyway, this is my contribution to all of this.
what i hear when you say stock market pic.twitter.com/lm7Mjmqr9J
— rachel leishman (@RachelLeishman) January 27, 2021
I’ll never understand stocks, and I think I’m okay with that. You guys go have your fun and all own GameStop locations or a specific seat in the AMC of your choosing. Again, I don’t know what any of this means. I’m just assuming.
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