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Stephen Hawking Wants You to Know There’s an Alternate Universe out There Where Zayn Is Still a Member of One Direction

♫ Sooooomwheeeeere oooooout theeeeeeere.... ♫

As you may have noticed from the million hearts shattered simultaneously ’round the world, Zayn Malik recently announced he would be leaving One Direction. At an event on Saturday night at the Sydney Opera House, a devastated 1D fan got to ask the leading authority on boy band culture about ask about Zayn’s departure: Stephen Hawking. His advice is as flawless as expected.

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