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Right-Wing Twitter Trolls Claims Shakespeare Didn’t Use Pronouns

William Shakespeare and Martha Jones in Doctor Who

You know how William Shakespeare never used a pronoun in his life? Well, the Right-Wing trolls of the internet are shouting that fact from the rooftops. Wait—sorry, he did WHAT? My bad. Shakespeare used a f**kton of pronouns. In fact, there are a bunch of pronouns in this opening paragraph! Who knew?! Well, I did because I studied English and know how the English language works, unlike conservative fans who pretend to be offended by someone else’s pronouns.

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For some reason, the single common brain cell shared between all right-wing trolls has decided that pronouns as a whole are “woke” and idiotic. In stating this opinion as their own collective thought, these conservatives seem to be admitting that they do not know what constitutes as a pronoun in the first place.

Lavern Spicer—a failed Republican U.S. House candidate and professional Twitter troll—constantly takes to social media to complain about things like people just trying to live their lives, acting like others’ existence is a personal offense to her. This time, she logged on and tweeted that “Shakespeare didn’t walk around putting pronouns in his plays”—a statement that literally uses a pronoun to describe William Shakespeare. She said that his lack of pronouns (he used a lot of them actually) is why they’re classics.

And then she went on to give an example as to what she thinks the pronoun discussion is. “My name is Macbeth and my pronouns are they/them.” First of all, that’s not how it is ever really done from a media standpoint and most often the conversation about pronouns is just so we are all aware of what others around us prefer. It’s just about being a kind and open person to someone else’s experience and asking what they prefer.

Shakespeare loved pronouns!

If you want to just use Shakespeare as your example, he uses pronouns constantly. I’ll even go further and use just Macbeth as an example. Lady Macbeth says “Come you spirits, That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here.” Me is a pronoun.

In a scene about Lady Macbeth, multiple pronouns are used. “Foul whisperings are abroad. Unnatural deed do breed unnatural troubles; infected minds to their deaf pillows will discharge their secrets; More needs she the divine than the physician.” Their and she are both pronouns. Do you get what I’m saying?

Pronouns are literally just common parts of everyday speech but right-wing talking heads are so afraid of personal strength and acceptance that they would rather look idiotic and foolish than open and understanding.

Yes, it’s funny that someone like Spicer said that Shakespeare’s plays were classics because he didn’t use pronouns but it also shows just how far some upsettingly influential trolls will go to make their harmful points. Anyway, maybe don’t use Shakespeare who famously had men dressing like women on stage and women disguising themselves as men constantly in his work. He is not the anti-woke gender ally you think, Lavern. He’d love how open and understanding most people are today.

(featured image: BBC)

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Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh.

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