Wait, I thought this already happened?
I thought this guy was already canceled? What’s going on here? Are we experiencing some sort of time fluctuation due to the supermassive black hole in our galaxy? Is this some sort of Doctor Who episode that never was? What is going on here? I thought people canceled Brandon Urie years ago? Is this the Mandella effect at play right now? Is something wrong with me? DO I NEED TO GO TO A HOSPITAL? WILL MY INSURANCE COVER THIS? I’M SPIRALING. SOMEONE HELP ME.
Oh wait, no, this did happen. Like three years ago. Lookee here. Why is it happening again? I thought this was over and done with?
Well … in the digital age, no one ever stays canceled for long … especially not established acts. Too much money involved.
But why the renewed fervor? Oh … looks like Panic! At The Disco is dropping an album that no one asked for.
So who is Brendon Urie, anyway?
If you were a tween in the early ’00s, you knew about Brendon Urie. His band Panic! At The Disco was HUGE during that time. So huge in fact, that they’ve been riding the coat tails of their own early success ever since.
During that time, Brendon Urie’s status as an icon grew tremendously, allowing him to leverage his pop punk career into modern radio play for his tepid pop songs. Remind you of anyone? *Cough* Adam Levine *cough cough*. God, I hate both of these songs so much. Like Urie, Adam Levine has also been accused of sexual misconduct in the form of cheating on his wife.
There really must have been something in the water with regards to these early ’00s bands. Urie himself has been married to a woman named Sarah since 2013, after meeting her at one of his concerts. Brendon himself has stated that he is pansexual, and seems to assault all genders equally. More on that in a minute. His LGBTQ+ identity is also rather ironic, considering that Twitter users have also accused him of saying a string of anti-LGBTQ jokes. According to these accusations, he has reportedly made ableist jokes as well. I guess he’s really just into this “I’m going to be a creep to everyone equally” vibe. To lay irony upon irony, Urie was recently honored with GLSEN’s “Inspiration Award” for his “LGBTQ Youth Advocacy.” He’s really into LGBTQ+ kids. And apparently he just can’t seem to stop himself from showing it. God, this is all so gross.
And guess what? There’s gonna be a new Panic! album: “Viva Las Vengeance” or “Why Won’t This Band Die?”
So Brendon and the gang have decide to pick up their guitars once more and release the unfortunately titled Viva Las Vengeance, and have just released the album’s title track. Like me, the internet must have thought that Brenden Urie was done, finito, cooked after the 2020 scandal, but when he once again raised his eye-liner painted head, the good people of the world wide web screamed and tried to push it back down into the darkness where it belongs. After all, like many rockstars before him, Brenden Urie has been accused of sexually assaulting minors. EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!!!! Don’t believe me? Check Twitter.
So how did all this nastiness start?
Well, it probably all stemmed from some fucked up thing that happening in Urie’s childhood that—oh, you mean more recently than that? Okay, so it started in 2020 (we didn’t all collectively hallucinate this) when Breezy Weekes, wife of Panic! At The Disco bass player Dallon Weekes, accused the band’s bodyguard Zack Hall of sexual harassment. As news of the controversy spread, fans waited for Urie to speak up and fire Hall. Soon after, Twitter users began to accuse Urie of sexual misconduct. One user @kam02700814 (whose account has since been deleted) allegedly claimed that in 2009 Urie attempted to touch him on the inner thigh. In response, the user ran away. Multiple other people have level similar accusations against Urie from now deleted Twitter accounts. The story is generally the same: “I was a minor, and he tried to touch me.”
Urie didn’t do anything to help his reputation. Fan footage of an unidentified Panic! At The Disco concert shows the then 35 year old Urie telling fans, “if I see you after the show, I’m gonna fuck you. I don’t care if you want it. I more care if you don’t want it. Because then I really want it.” Yikes with a capital “Y in God’s name would you say that”? Apparently it’s because he meant it. I guess it was less of a statement and more of a promise. Again, EW.
But does the buck stop there? Not even close
In what appears to be an effort to write more sins than tragedies, Urie has gotten himself in even MORE deep water for racist and transphobic comments. In another unfortunate concert moment, Urie tells the crowd, “I wish I was born Black, so I could wear the clothes I wear without getting made fun of.” To make matters worse, he also mouthed the n-word in an old vine. He then also reportedly repeated the t-slur when it was said to him in an interview, a sin that he has since written an apology for. Really, Brendon? How do you not know better?
So what is the internet doing about it?
Twitter is apparently tired of Brendon Urie’s shit, and are through with asking him to “speak up.” Users are now resorting to blocking him. His name is now trending on Twitter, and it’s likely that will result in him being blocked by even more accounts. It seems that Viva Las Vengeance is an appropriate name for his new album, as Twitter’s thirst for vengeance against the singer is certainly alive and well. It’s likely that much of the ire stems from how this controversy was left unresolved when the allegations first came out against Urie in 2020. The internet has been waiting a long time for this moment. Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.
(featured image: Theo Wargo/Getty Images for MTV/Paramount Global)
