7 Lord of the Rings Characters Who Should’ve Been Nicolas Cage

We would watch 25+ hours of Nic Cage's Lord of the Rings.

nic cage lotr header

Did you know that Nicolas Cage was going to be in Lord of the Rings, but he turned down the opportunity? “I can’t even imagine what that would have been like,” you say in awed wonder. Don’t worry; we’ve done some imagining for you with seven characters who should’ve been played by Nic Cage.

Cage apparently had an offer on the table to play Aragorn as he mentioned in a Newsweek interview (you can see what that might’ve been like above), but we think that would’ve been a waste of Cage’s … unique talents. Here’s who he should’ve been instead:

1. Gandalf



2. Gollumnicgollum

Andy Serkis is great, but Nicolas Cage probably could’ve gotten the job done without CG if he went all Christian Bale in The Machinist.

Disclaimer: The Mary Sue assumes no liability for any mental anguish/lack of sleep caused by this post.

3. Galadriel


ABSOLUTELY NO LIABILITY. (And you thought this scene couldn’t have been more unsettling.)

4. Elrond


You know Elrond always wanted to grow a mustache to stroke while he performed extreme eyebrow gymnastics.

5. Scary-time Bilbo


Be honest. This one doesn’t even look any different from how you remember it, does it?

6. Pippin


Sadly, a hobbit body is too small to hold all of Nic Cage’s talent.

7. One of those damn eagles that save everyone


The Lord of the Rings movies would’ve been infinitely improved by Nicolas Cage playing any of these characters. Or all of these characters. Or all of the characters in the movies at all—pretty much except Aragorn, actually.

(images via WingNut Films)

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Dan is a video game modding hobbyist and secret ninja who lives in North Carolina with his wife, Lisa Brown, and his dog, Liz Lemon, both of whom are the best.