Pennywise (Bll Skarsgård) tries to catch a new victim in a still from IT: Chapter One.

A New Jersey Woman Has Only Acceptable Response To Finding a Pennywise Doll Floating In Her Backyard: She Set It on Fire

Someone call the Losers Club.

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Imagine enjoying a quiet afternoon in your backyard when a Pennywise doll with weird symbols scrawled onto its forehead floats into your backyard. Renee Jensen of New Jersey had this happen to her this past weekend in a story that’s actually all kinds of horrifying.

Jensen said she called the police before burning the doll in her backyard and sleeping with a knife under her pillow. While the story sounds funny on paper, the fact that the toy managed to avoid many of the trees in her yard to float down perfectly, the weird symbols on the head, and the fact that it took three tries to set the damn thing on fire are actually ten kinds of terrifying. She doesn’t live in an area that would really lend itself well to a promotion of a drone dropping a Pennywise doll down on her, and even then, the weird symbols make this feel like it is not a Warner Bros’s stunt.

So honestly? Setting the thing on fire is the only reasonable response after her neighborhood Facebook group and the police were both freaked out by the incident. None of this horror movie nonsense where you bring the cursed doll into the house to invite evil to enter as well. You burn that stuff. Especially when there are weird symbols written onto the doll’s forehead that are apparently un-Googleable. That’s the particularly creepy part of all of this.

The only way this could be even scarier is if Pennywise had been attached to a red balloon, the clown’s signature accessory from the book, miniseries, and films. Thankfully, there were no balloons, but hopefully there will be an explanation soon, because if we all start getting surprise Pennywise dolls then the world truly is cursed. Remember that rush of clown sightings in 2016? It would be like that, only worse, because cursed Pennywise dolls just seem extra horrifying.

Hopefully, this won’t ruin IT Chapter Two‘s chances at breaking Warner Bros’s box office slump when the film opens on September 6. If this hasn’t scared you away, tickets are on sale now.

(via NJ.com, image: Warner Bros)

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Kate Gardner
Kate (they/them) says sorry a lot for someone who is not sorry about the amount of strongly held opinions they have. Raised on a steady diet of The West Wing and classic film, they are now a cosplayer who will fight you over issues of inclusion in media while also writing coffee shop AU fanfic for their favorite rare pairs.