Mother roasts backpacks her kids picked out for school—then the internet viciously cooks her: ‘Unhealed parents are kids first bullies’
It’s practically fall, and that means that parents and their kids are engaging in an age-old negotiation rite: Back-to-school shopping. It’s a balancing act: Parents want their children to be prepared for school, while the kids just want to be cool.
Factor in the fact that ideas of cool change with seasons (and generations), and one mom’s dilemma becomes all too real. Inez Perez (@seriouslyinez) decided to forgo arguing with her kids about fashion, instead choosing to roast them.
What Did She Say About Her Kids’ Backpacks?
In a TikTok that’s got the internet talking, Perez posed a question about her children’s aesthetic choices. “I just want personal opinions, am I being harsh as a mom?” she asks.
Then explains her fashion dilemma. She took her kids to start back-to-school shopping. The kids were only buying backpacks and shoes. Perez says she “doesn’t give a f***,” but then says she “had her way with those shoes.” So she’s facing every parent’s problem: Practicality versus trend. Her goal is keeping the kids’ clothing looking like it makes sense.
But this year, the kids got to pick their own backpacks. And she wants to share those selections with the world. She starts by holding up her daughter’s backpack. It’s a white JanSport with blue butterflies, “classic,” says Perez. Her only concern? That’s it’s going to get dirty.
Dirt, however, is not a concern with her next child’s backpack. He chose the currently iconic Realtree camouflage print backpack. With semi-matching camo Crocs. She’s “annoyed.”
Her eldest, though, is the child she reserves the most commentary for.
She says he’s autistic and that she’s “not trying to judge him for his,” pause, “Style.”
Accordingly, she presents his chosen backpack without comment, just a smirk on her face. It features text that says “Smile now, cry later” and “Welcome to the Barrio,” in classic Los Angeles tattoo-style fancy script.
It also features the laughing and crying drama masks often seen in tattooing. Underneath that, there’s an illustration of a sad, fedora-wearing clown, who’s pulled off his “laughing” mask, revealing his “crying” face.
The illustrations are the work of David Gonzales, an artist who focuses on lowrider and Chicano aesthetics, with the character his calls his “homies.”
Visually, it’s pretty complex. Emotionally, it’s giving teenage emotional stew.
Perez says, “I’m gonna allow them to have their personalities and likes. I just find it hilarious.”
People Have Opinions About The Mom
Because Perez is tattooed, pierced, and contoured, the internet has quite a bit to say, from bullying to this mother’s own methods of self-expression.
“Honestly I would think someone with tattoos, piercings and an alternative look would be more accepting of individual style,” points out Kali Childress (@kalichildress0).
Another user offers a warning: “Funny bc I grew up with an alt mom. she was goth, so the biggest thing was- ‘no preps.’ tbh, I always wanted to be ‘preppy’ growing up. I wasn’t allowed to like pink, or join cheer, or do things I wanted to do. I don’t talk to my mom really at all now. Hope this helps!” says Hempest (@hempest).
While an account going by the name of Friendship (@bby_slime) slides into therapy-speak saying, “Unhealed parents are kids first bullies.”
Can Parental Teasing Be Detrimental For Children?
The short answer is yes: teasing, even when done in a spirit of love, can have a lasting negative impact. But every family is different, reports Psychology Today. In general, bodies should be off-limits, and the person doing the teasing should take care not to be hurtful or seem lacking in compassion. And always be willing to apologize if someone’s feelings are hurt.
But fashion? That’s long been a point of tension and hilarity among the generations. The New York Times even got a few jabs in at the expense of the younger generations in a guest essay: “Gen Z-ers Dress Like They’ve Never Worn Clothes Before.”
In that bit of journalism, former Vice writer Thomas Morton laments the loss of “taxonomizing people by what they had on.” Now, he asks the question: “Why is everybody under the age of 30 these days dressed like an actual lunatic?”
So perhaps Perez is engaging in the social media equivalent of writing a guest op-ed for the Times. Only hers has a special focus on her kids’ sartorial choices.
The Mary Sue reached out to Perez via email and TikTok direct message. We will update this article if she shares more fashion commentary.
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