Mom of 3 says she will never be a gentle parent, then admits what happens when she tries: ‘That gentle parenting script just leaves my body’

A mom of three says she yells across the house when she needs her children’s attention, and that she does not see it as unkind. According to Daily Dot, Jillian laid out her view in a TikTok video about gentle parenting. “I am not and will never be a gentle parent,” she states.

She explains that her kids are not gentle ones, so that style would not work for her. A household like hers needs a loud voice, she adds, but she is never hostile, cruel or rude. Debates over how strict a parent should be spread fast online, as with a mother charging her son for gas.

Gentle parents tell others to “Get down on their level,” she says. She rejects that. “Absolutely not! I’m not meeting them on home field advantage,” she states. In her view, stooping down to their level can give kids an inflated idea of their own power, and yelling across the house saves time.

She validates feelings but expects compliance

Acknowledging a child’s emotions is another gentle parenting idea she says she can handle. She still wants her kids to do as asked. “Oh, I validate it. Yes, I know you’re mad. Now put on your pants!” she says. Consequences at home can go viral too, as with a Florida mom tossing daughter’s iPad.

She also describes where the approach breaks down in her own home. “I love my kids. I respect their feelings. We talk things through. But sometimes, that gentle parenting script just leaves my body,” she adds. Her video closes with the line, “Sometimes parenting is just loving your children very deeply while also yelling, ‘Why are you naked? We leave in five minutes!’” All details come from her account in the video and could not be verified independently.

Gentle parenting is commonly described as an approach that treats a child as an individual with a distinct viewpoint. It favors guidance, teaching and modeling over shame and punishment. That is how clinical psychologist Emily Edlynn frames it in a Psychology Today blog.

Edlynn states that gentle parenting shares warmth, connection and empathy with authoritative parenting, which she describes as “a blend of parental warmth and firm limits.” She also notes the research base is weak and that no single approach works for every child. She argues that gentle parenting gives an ideal first response but little guidance when a child keeps misbehaving. “You can have connection and consequences,” she writes.

The American Academy of Pediatrics describes discipline as teaching, not punishing. It states that “All children, including babies, need consistent discipline” and that “Listening is important.” It advises parents to explain that anger is acceptable but hurting people or breaking things is not. It also notes that yelling meant to cause emotional pain or shame can lead to more misbehavior and mental health problems.

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