Michael Cohen looks sad while testifying about all his crimes.

Michael Cohen Is Going Back to Jail After Violating COVID-19 Release

These people never learn.
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Former Trump lawyer and convicted felon Michael Cohen is going back to jail. Trump’s former fixer was sentenced to 3 years in prison in December of 2018, for what a federal court judge described as a “veritable smorgasbord” of criminal conduct. This includes paying off women to keep quiet about their affairs with Trump (with campaign money), lying to Congress about the Trump Organization’s financial ties to Russia, and tax evasion.

Cohen was sentenced to 3 years, but was released after serving a little over one year due to concerns about COVID-19. Prisons are some of the most vulnerable populations to the coronavirus, and as of June 30, at least 52,649 people in prison had tested positive for the illness.

Since Michael Cohen is wealthy, white, and famous, he was allowed a medical furlough to serve the remainder of his term on house arrest. But thanks to hubris and/or sheer incompetence, Cohen will be returning to jail after failing to adhere to the terms of his release. The man had a literal get out of jail card, and he flushed it down the toilet.

“Today, Michael Cohen refused the conditions of his home confinement and as a result, has been returned to a BOP facility,” a Bureau of Prisons spokesperson said. Cohen’s attorney Jeffrey Levine claimed that his client failed to agree to the terms of the federal location monitoring for the Southern District of New York.

Those terms included an agreement to not engage with the media or write a book. Cohen was also spotted eating at a restaurant by the New York Post, which may have been a violation of his release.

Levine said, “I’ve never seen any language like this in my life that would strip a person of their First Amendment rights to communicate with the media, … We made our objections known to the probation officers and we asked what we can do to work it out,” adding that they then “received an order and the US Marshals office came with shackles to shackle Michael Cohen.”

One thing all the members of Team Trump have in common is an utterly shameless, unmitigated gall. They truly believe that the rules do not apply to them, that they are somehow above the law. This delusion comes directly from Trump of course, who is famous for his self-aggrandizing and his inability to take one iota of responsibility for his actions.

Cohen would rather make media appearances and write a tell-all than avoid two years in a coronavirus-infested prison. The sheer hubris and ego behind this decision is shocking, to say the least. But then again, Michael Cohen isn’t famous for his decision-making skills.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

(via CNN, image: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

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Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.