Meghan Markle crafted a piece for The New York Times discussing something that affects millions of women every year: miscarriage.
The Duchess of Sussex has faced a lot of criticism from the media, along with her husband, but that has not stopped her from speaking out about issues that face her two nations. By speaking up about her miscarriage, Markle adds to the millions of voices of people who have had a miscarriages in their lifetime.
Markle describes feeling the pain happening while she went to take care of her son, Archie Mountbatten-Windsor.
“After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.
I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.”
It is painful and heartwrenching because, as March of Dimes explains, “as many as half of all pregnancies may end in miscarriage.” Healthy pregnancies can occur later or before the miscarriage, but it can still be emotionally wrenching.
Hours after the miscarriage, “I lay in a hospital bed,” Meghan Markle writes, “holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. … I tried to imagine how we’d heal.”https://t.co/xCJbgPgufq
— New York Times Opinion (@nytopinion) November 25, 2020
The duchess explained she and Harry decided to share their private loss because “losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by a few.”
“Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.”
As a result, she asks, as this Thanksgiving “many of us separated from our loved ones, alone, sick, scared, divided and perhaps struggling to find something, anything, to be grateful for,” that we commit to asking others, “Are you OK?”
Sometimes all anyone wants is a chance to cry and feel heard by someone. Many of us are struggling with issues that we have chosen to stay silent about due to the pandemic. For those of us who can be close to our loved ones this year, it is important to check in.
For those who have struggled or want to know more about miscarriage, March of Dimes has multiple resources about grief and more stories from those sharing their experiences.
(via NYT, image: Chris Jackson/Getty Images)
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