Ever look at a fictional character and think, “They definitely would not need a Twitter account?” Well, that’s how I felt about J. Jonah Jameson. And now, in a truly frightful Halloween twist, the Daily Bugle has its own Twitter account. The Spider-Man-hating words of J. Jonah Jameson are going to be live and on Twitter for all to see! And this time, smearing the name of Peter Parker!
How did I discover this terrifying feat? Well, I saw the slander of my sweet son, Peter Parker. As we know from the post-credits scene for Spider-Man: Far From Home, Mysterio had one more twist up his sleeve. Sending a fabricated video to J. Jonah Jameson (who gives off some real Alex Jones vibes) at the Daily Bugle, he made it seem as if Peter Parker faked the entire attack on London so that he could be the next big hero.
So, what does J. Jonah Jameson do? He outs a seventeen year old.
WANTED! Have you seen this criminal vigilante who’s stalked our streets and assembled a web of lies to cover up his misdeeds? We must band together in defiance of this false hero. Peter Parker, we will find you and justice will be served. Head to https://t.co/lVYC5RENNl for more! pic.twitter.com/dD2buv9WbP
— The Daily Bugle (@thedailybugle) October 30, 2019
Back on October 24th, the account was started as a way of promoting the DVD release of Spider-Man: Far From Home but has now become my new favorite account to promote anything.
❗BREAKING: SPIDER-MAN IS A MENACE❗Get the latest on this story and more from J. Jonah Jameson at https://t.co/lVYC5RENNl and grab your copy of #SpiderManFarFromHome on Blu-ray today! pic.twitter.com/FEpV8pqPjP
— The Daily Bugle (@thedailybugle) October 24, 2019
J. Jonah Jameson did his research though, using Flash Thompson as his source on all things Peter Parker and Spider-Man.
Check out the latest https://t.co/lVYC5RENNl exclusive to witness footage of the chaos from the London Attacks by a local high school student who goes by the name “Flash.” Be sure to grab your copy of #SpiderManFarFromHome on Blu-ray & Digital today for more exclusive extras! pic.twitter.com/pCbyW1kTUi
— The Daily Bugle (@thedailybugle) October 24, 2019
Head over to https://t.co/lVYC5RENNl for the latest EXCLUSIVE with more follow-up answers from the student abroad who witnessed the London attacks. Be sure to grab your copy of #SpiderManFarFromHome on Blu-ray & Digital today for more exclusive extras! pic.twitter.com/XmimpubN8z
— The Daily Bugle (@thedailybugle) October 24, 2019
Worried that Jameson would tone down his wild theories? Don’t be! It’s still as outlandish as you’d think.
Where the tides of real news crash the shore of dangerous truth, https://t.co/lVYC5RENNl will be there! Read the stories that the super-powers-that-be don’t want you to know! Stay informed! Be a real hero! Listen… to the BUGLE! pic.twitter.com/6f2clUjYQH
— The Daily Bugle (@thedailybugle) October 29, 2019
Using footage from Mysterio and directing us all to the actual website, the Daily Bugle is a very real place we can go to experience J. Jonah Jameson’s slandering of the webbed hero.
Have you been to https://t.co/lVYC5RENNl to see the exclusive story about Mysterio’s final moments? This story is still developing. pic.twitter.com/HHqFGnzpox
— The Daily Bugle (@thedailybugle) October 29, 2019
Or, well …
Could this get any better? Yes. When you go to the Daily Bugle, you might notice that it looks almost exactly like Alex Jones’ Infowars homepage. I have not stopped yelling about this for the last hour.
Does this mean we’re going to see more J. Jonah Jameson in the upcoming Spider-Man movies? I hope in very small amounts that, yes, we do, but who knows? Maybe he’ll be banned from social media like his real-life counterpart.
(image: Marvel Entertainment)
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