Rep. Jim Jordan sits alone in a Capitol Hill hearing room in front of a bunch of stupid giant signs.

The House Republicans’ Giant Impeachment Signs Are Beyond Satire

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Since public impeachment hearings started last week, some House Republicans have taken to mounting giant signs behind themselves. Some of them feature quotes from Donald Trump or others from Nancy Pelosi. Some are images of tweets. They’re all in huge Boomer font lettering to make sure the cameras catch them.

They also have these tallies counting the days since certain events Republicans claim occurred. Like “100 Days Since Adam Schiff Learned the Identity of the Whistleblower.” Schiff has denied knowing the whistleblower’s identity, which then prompted a second sign, reading the number of “Days Since Adam Schiff Claimed He Didn’t Know the Identity of the Whistleblower.”

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These signs are wasteful and tacky just an overall embarrassment. But the new sign these Republicans brought out midway through Thursday’s hearing is the absolute worst of the bunch.

That reads “0 Days Since Adam Schiff Followed House Rules.”

First of all, Republicans have adopted this weirdly performative act of pretending they don’t know how Congressional hearings work. Like when ranking the committee’s minority leader Devin Nunes tried to yield time to Rep. Elise Stefanik during a portion of the hearing when–as they know–only the party chair and their official counsel are allowed to talk and Nunes and Stefanik lost it.

“What is the interruption for this time?” Stefanik demanded. “You’re gagging the young lady from New York?” Nunes asked angrily.

It was basically a reenactment of this classic tweet, but with Republican lawmakers instead of a cat:

Jail for Schiff! Jail for Schiff for One Thousand Years!!!

But what’s even worse about this sign–the part that gives me full-on brain worms–is the logic of their math. Because this kind of sign, like a work accident sign, is supposed to reset when someone does the thing named. So I know they think they’re saying he’s never followed the rules, but really, the message on display is the exact opposite.

They really are trying their best, aren’t they? It’s just that their best is not very good.

(image: Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
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Vivian Kane
Vivian Kane (she/her) is the Senior News Editor at The Mary Sue, where she's been writing about politics and entertainment (and all the ways in which the two overlap) since the dark days of late 2016. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she gets to put her MFA to use covering the local theatre scene. She is the co-owner of The Pitch, Kansas City’s alt news and culture magazine, alongside her husband, Brock Wilbur, with whom she also shares many cats.