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Elon Musk Tried to Solve Russia-Ukraine War via Twitter Poll and Surprise, It Didn’t Work!

Elon Musk poses at a space event

Fresh off of debuting the android equivalent of the Ford Pinto, billionaire and Tesla founder Elon Musk has taken on his next challenge: solving the Russia-Ukraine crisis via Twitter. Musk, who offered to end his legal battle with the social media giant by agreeing to his previous deal to buy it, is now using Twitter to wade into foreign affairs. Musk laid out a four-part plan to achieve peace between the two countries, following Russia’s invasion of the Ukraine in February. Musk’s plan involves an election re-do in the newly annexed regions of the Ukraine (do you want to be invaded and stolen by Russia? Yes/No/Maybe So), along with giving up Crimea, providing a water supply, and neutrality from the Ukraine. Soooo…giving Putin everything he wants then? Because when faced with a fascist dictator, if history has taught us anything, it’s that giving them what they want works. Just kidding, it’s a stepping-stone to all-out world war.

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Musk’s suggestion is not only asinine and insulting to the Ukrainian people, but profoundly out of step of global opinion. The U.S. has repeatedly denounced Putin’s invasion, sending billions of dollars worth of aid to the Ukraine. And earlier this year, the United Nations General Assembly voted overwhelmingly to condemn Russia’s actions. Speaking at the UN Assembly last week, President Joe Biden said, “The world should see these acts for what they are … no one has threatened Russia. Russia sought this conflict. One man sought this brutal, senseless war, … This war is about extinguishing Ukraine’s right to exist as a State, plain and simple, and [Ukrainian’s] right to exist as a people.”

Even Russians don’t want this violent and chaotic war to continue as Putin seeks to draft more men to fight the Ukraine. Protests have broken out across the country, with hundreds of thousands of Russian citizens fleeing to neighboring countries like Kazakhstan. Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy responded to Musk via Twitter with a poll of his own, asking “Which @elonmusk do you like more? One who supports Ukraine or one who supports Russia.”

Lithuanian President Gitanas Nausėda also weighed in on Musk’s tweets, writing “Dear @elonmusk, when someone tries to steal the wheels of your Tesla, it doesn’t make them legal owner of the car or of the wheels. Even though they claim both voted in favor of it. Just saying.”

 Musk tried to defend his stance as pro-Ukraine by pointing out that SpaceX supports Starlink internet access in the Ukraine, with the company spending $80 million on the service. Still, that didn’t save Musk from getting absolutely bodied by Ukraine supporters online.

Maybe billionaires shouldn’t weigh in on global conflicts, especially those who can’t even win a battle against Twitter.

(featured image: Britta Pedersen-Pool/Getty Images)

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Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.