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Here Are the Internet’s Essential Takes on Trump Firing FBI Director Comey

Maybe you’re like me, staring at your newsfeeds in slack-jawed shock and rising terror at the ascent of an American autocracy. Or maybe you’re like several members of The Mary Sue staff, who have already decamped to bars to drown their despair. Wherever you are, I’ve got you covered with a compilation of the finest responses I’ve seen on social media to this horrifying debacle.

While I’ve made it clear in the past that I’m no fan of James Comey or how he handled the matter of the Hillary Clinton e-mail investigation, the fact remains that Comey was overseeing the FBI’s probe into Trump/Russia collusion. He’s now been fired on the recommendation of Jeff Sessions, a racist cretin who had to recuse himself from the investigations … because of Trump/Russia collusion.

If you didn’t already have a reason to dislike Jeff Sessions, he also spent the day announcing that he would be reviewing Obama-era guidelines that instructed prosecutors not to seek mandatory minimum sentences in prison for low-level drug offenses. So while Trump and Sessions were getting ready to fire Comey and fiddle as democracy burned, they were also plotting to reinstate officious policies that help no one and hurt many people. Jeff Sessions makes me wish I believed in a hell so that he could burn in it.

But the news about drug sentences was fast drowned out by what people are already calling Trump’s “Tuesday Night Massacre,” evoking Richard Nixon’s firing of independent prosecutor Archibald Cox. And here conveniently is a Richard Nixon biographer to tell us why Nixon took that unprecedented step:

You might be shocked to hear that Fox News … isn’t exactly reporting the same story as the rest of the world:

When you’re arguing with friends and relatives, keep in mind that this is perhaps the most essential point:

Once more for the people in the back:

Ultimately, this is why Comey was fired, and it’s really, really scary. Democracies don’t dismiss and replace investigators into corruption with people who will do their bidding. This is the stuff of dictatorships.

I don’t know either anymore, Jeffrey.

The firing upsets Edward Snowden, who Comey has been trying to jail.

:chin hands thinking emoji:

Meanwhile, the Nixon library is having a grand old time pointing out that even Nixon never went this low.

Elizabeth Warren is not standing for this crap.

Must be a fun day at the White House.

A less fun day at the FBI?

The actual letter that actual President Donald Trump sent to actual James Comey actually defies belief.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll follow the rest of the Mary Sue staff and look for something to drink.

(original top image: Wikimedia Commons)

 

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Kaila is a lifelong New Yorker. She's written for io9, Gizmodo, New York Magazine, The Awl, Wired, Cosmopolitan, and once published a Harlequin novel you'll never find.