comScore

It’s Time We All Faced the Fact that Chewbacca Has Always Been an “Apolitical” Centrist

He is a big fan of Bret Stephens after all.

Chewbacca

Our beloved #resistance elder, often lovingly referred to as “Uncle Chew,” stirred up quite the Twitter storm yesterday when it was revealed in a new biography (the latest Official Star Wars Visual Dictionary) that famous rebel leader Chewbacca considers himself to be “apolitical.”

While it might be shocking to some that a Wookiee who has spent a literal century fighting fascist regimes on behalf of the rebel alliance might claim to be “apolitical,” anyone who has been following Chewbacca closely will not be surprised that the aging family Wookiee has more centrist leaning personal views. After all, you know that old Wookiee saying: “Any Wookiee under 100 who is not a liberal – tear their arm off! And any Wookiee over 100 who is not a conservative – tear the other arm off!’

Yes, Chewbacca helped Jedi Master Yoda escape Order 66 after the battle of Kashyyk. Yes, Chewbacca is close personal friends with the leaders of the rebel alliance: Luke Skywalker (whose tagline of “a new HOPE” revitalized the stagnant party), General Leia Organa and her husband Han Solo. But Chewbacca has always felt that there are “mighty fine people on both sides.”

Even when his home planet of Kashyyyk was under occupation by the Empire and stormtroopers invaded his family home on Life Day, threatening the safety of his son Lumpawaroo (“Lumpy” for short), Chewbacca still maintains that it’s not “Wookiee lives matter” or even “clone lives matter” but in fact “all lives that matter.” Though his son Lumpy does have an “ACAB” (All Clones Are Bad) bumper sticker on his speeder, both have agreed to not talk politics at the dinner table, per his wife Malla’s request. He also turns a blind eye to his father Itchy’s “Make Kashyyyk Great Again” baseball cap because confrontation, a thing Wookiees notoriously hate, makes him uncomfortable.

And now that his good friends are gone it’s time for the resistance to take on new leadership. The more radical members of the party think that new young blood—like Rey or even Rose Tico—is what is needed to undo the damage caused by the First Order and move the galaxy towards a better tomorrow. But the old guard of the Republic thinks that a much older, and more centrist, figurehead like “Uncle Chew” is their only choice for uniting the galaxy and putting this ugly First Order business behind them. At least, that’s what they’ve been reading in the New York Times.

(Photo: Lucasfilms/Disney)

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—

Have a tip we should know? tips@themarysue.com

Filed Under:

Follow The Mary Sue: