Most video game adaptations suck. I know it. You know it. And Lionsgate knows it, which is probably why the trailer for the delayed Borderlands movie is trying so hard to remind you of Guardians of the Galaxy. Congratulations to our new Star-Lord, Cate Blanchett!
Actually, you know what? Good for her. While Chris Pratt is gaslighting audiences into believing Mario and Garfield are secretly ripped white men, Cate Blanchett is grabbing his bag. I sincerely hope she is enjoying her Borderlands money, especially after watching this trailer, in which she—along with Kevin Hart, Barbie‘s Ariana Greenblatt, and some guy from Slipknot—gets peed on. Blanchett says it herself in the accompanying voiceover: this world is a dumpster fire.
Based on the popular video game of the same name, Borderlands was directed by Eli Roth, with Deadpool‘s Tim Miller enlisted for reportedly extensive reshoots. The film also stars Jack Black (as a testicle-grabbing robot, no less), Edgar Ramírez, Gina Gershon, Florian Munteanu, and Jamie Lee Curtis—who seems to be wearing Raul Julia’s old costume from Street Fighter. I don’t know how self-aware this movie is trying to be, but if Lionsgate brought in the Deadpool guy, I assume someone’s breaking the fourth wall in the first 10 minutes. (Credit where it’s due—Miller is also great with visuals; see also: the opening credits sequence for David Fincher’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.)
Here’s the official synopsis for Borderlands:
Lilith (Blanchett), an infamous bounty hunter with a mysterious past, reluctantly returns to her home, Pandora, the most chaotic planet in the galaxy. Her mission is to find the missing daughter of Atlas (Ramírez), the universe’s most powerful S.O.B. Lilith forms an unexpected alliance with a ragtag team of misfits – Roland (Hart), a seasoned mercenary on a mission; Tiny Tina (Greenblatt), a feral pre-teen demolitionist; Krieg (Munteanu), Tina’s musclebound protector; Tannis (Curtis), the oddball scientist who’s seen it all; and Claptrap (Black), a wiseass robot. Together, these unlikely heroes must battle an alien species and dangerous bandits to uncover one of Pandora’s most explosive secrets. The fate of the universe could be in their hands – but they’ll be fighting for something more: each other. Based on one of the best-selling videogame franchises of all time, welcome to BORDERLANDS.
Borderlands hits theaters in August.
(featured image: Lionsgate)
