The Barbie-pocalypse is upon us. This not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. The internet’s most anticipated movie of 2023 is coming out THIS WEEK. Oppenheimer? Well, yes. That too. But only because Barbie comes out on the exact same day. The pairing is so deliciously strange. It goes together like Pixy Stix and sour cream. LSD and chamomile. Cinnamon and sawed-off shotguns. Things that NO ONE would associate on a normal day. But July 21, 2023 is no normal day now, is it?
In fact, the date is so abnormal that the pop culture has responded accordingly. Super-masc action star John Cena is celebrating the release by showing off his Kenmaid costume. Yes, that IS a portmanteau of “Ken” and “mermaid.” Hell, we’ve got the stars of Barbie at the film’s various premieres wearing outfits that reference Barbie lore. I didn’t even know Barbie HAD lore.
Greta Gerwig’s upcoming film has pop-consciousness in a stranglehold. It is undoubtedly her most anticipated work. That’s why we’re not gonna talk about it anymore. Nope. This article is going to be about Greta Gerwig’s OTHER movies. Yes, she has made others. I forgot they existed. Barbie made me forget about every other movie ever made. But I will now lift up the rock that is my subconscious mind and recount the other Greta Gerwig movies wriggling there like bugs beneath.
Lady Bird
And what cute little bugs they are! In case you didn’t know, “ladybird” is another name for “ladybug.” And it’s ALSO another name for Lady Bird‘s titular protagonist. Saoirse Ronan plays Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson, a young woman who dreams of trading her Catholic high school life for something better. Written and directed by Gerwig, Lady Bird is a coming of age story about a strained relationship between a mother and daughter who just can’t seem to understand one another. Throughout the film, we see Lady Bird develop friendships, fall in love, and discover that her modest little hometown was worth something after all. While the film on its face seems like the story of a young girl’s emancipation from her mother, it culminates in what is ultimately a love letter to mother-daughter relationships everywhere.
Frances Ha
Directed by Noah Baumbach (who co-wrote the film with Gerwig), Frances Ha tells the story of a twentysomething aspiring dancer (played by Gerwig herself) who is navigating the steaming urban jungle of New York City. The trouble begins when Frances’ best friend and roommate moves out of their apartment in order to pursue a more financially stable life. As a result, Frances feels lost and disconnected; she bounces around different living situations, working odd jobs, facing professional rejections, and falling in and out of the arms of Adam Driver. Shot entirely in black and white, Frances Ha ultimately serves as some sort of millennial parable. What’s the lesson here? Hope for the future and have fun in the present, I suppose. You’re only young once.
Little Women
What could possibly be more Greta Gerwig than Louisa May Alcott’s timeless coming of age novel? Little Women tells the story of the March sisters—Jo, Meg, Amy, and Beth—as they navigate the ups and downs of life in 19th century America. Set against the backdrop of the Civil War, the film centers around aspiring writer Jo (Saoirse Ronan), the responsible and traditional Meg (Emma Watson), the artsy and romantic Amy (Florence Pugh), and the sweet and musically talented Beth (Eliza Scanlen). The young women explore the complexities of love, marriage, and the pursuit of a career in a world where women’s aspirations are traditionally limited. But is the world gonna get ’em down? Hell no.
Nights and Weekends
Nights and Weekends is Greta Gerwig’s co-directorial debut! Co-written, co-directed, and co-starring Joe Swanberg and Greta Gerwig, Nights and Weekends delves into the ugly realities of the most challenging of all modern relationships: the long distance one. James (Swanberg) lives in Chicago, and Mattie (Gerwig) lives in New York City. The film primarily focuses on the nights that they stay up talking and the weekends that they spend with one another. The film’s naturalistic performances and unscripted dialogue established Gerwig as a rising star in the early days of the mumblecore genre.
Mistress America
Noah Baumbach’s Mistress America stars Greta Gerwig as—you guessed it—a vivacious and directionless young New Yorker just tryna make it in the big city! The film also stars Lola Kirke as Tracy, a college freshman who becomes enamored with Brooke’s charming personality. Tracy, an aspiring writer, begins to see Brooke as an eccentric font of artistic inspiration, and after the pair become step-sisters (yeah, Brooke’s dad marries Tracy’s mom—it’s a little contrived but who cares) Tracy begins using Brooke’s antics to generate writing. Tracy gets caught up in Brooke’s whirlwind of artistic ambitions, which (as with every other Gerwig movie) never really go anywhere. Mistress America delves into the stark divide between dreams and reality, and highlights the gap between one’s lofty goals and the realities of attaining them.
Hannah Takes the Stairs
Co-written by Gerwig and Joe Swanberg, Hannah Takes the Stairs has been described as the defining mumblecore film. It stars Gerwig as Hannah, a directionless college graduate who works as an intern at a production office during the summer. Throughout the film, Hannah finds herself in a love trapezoid with three different men: her boyfriend Mike (Mark Duplass), and two screenwriters named Matt and Paul. She jumps from relationship to relationship while attempting to find purpose in her life. As is typical of the genre, the dialogue of the film is almost entirely improvised. Like much of Gerwig’s early work, Hannah Takes the Stairs was polarizing among critics. The story doesn’t go anywhere, but that’s kind of the point. The real treasure of the film is the feelings we felt along the way.
The House of the Devil
Ti West’s The House of the Devil is one of the scariest horror movies I’ve ever seen. What happens when a cash-strapped teenager named Samantha answers an ad to housesit a spooky mansion in the countryside? Nothing good. This film is a masterpiece in suspense because, like a Greta Gerwig movie, nothing happens. At least for the first half. Samantha dances around the ominous house as though nothing is out of the ordinary, but when she discovers what’s in the attic she will find her herself sorely mistaken. Greta Gerwig plays Samantha’s friend Megan, who tries to visit her at the house. Things don’t go well for Megan…
Isle of Dogs
Isle of Dogs is a cute little Wes Anderson romp about a group of dogs in Japan who are exiled to Trash Island after a corrupt official deems them responsible for the canine influenza spreading throughout the country. The first dog to be deported is Spots, the beloved best friend of a 12-year-old orphan boy named Atari. Atari journeys to the island and meets a group of Alpha dogs who assist him on his quest for his pup. Meanwhile, in Japan, an American foreign exchange student named Tracy Walker (voiced by Gerwig) investigates the real reason why the official banished the dogs. And unlike many other Great Gerwig protagonists, Tracy actually gets shit done.
Baghead
Baghead is a horror/comedy/romance from Jay and Mark Duplass, and it’s all the kinds of weird you expect from Gerwig. It centers around four clueless actors (one of whom is played by Gerwig) who retreat to a cabin in the woods in order to write movies for themselves to star in. One of them has a dream about a menacing man with a bag over his head and tells the group about it the next morning. The actors believe that they’ve struck gold with the “baghead” story and begin to write the script. Things take a turn when an actual man with a bag over his head appears wielding an actual knife and actually tries to kill them all. The film is a micro budget sendup of micro budget films and the people who attempt to cut corners while making art. In short, it’s a movie about the worst kind of artist, the one who exploits the labor of those around them for personal gain.
Jackie
Pablo Larrain’s biopic centers on Jackie Onassis, the wife of John F. Kennedy Jr. and one of the most famous First Ladies to ever hold office. Onassis is played by Natalie Portman, and the film is told through a series of interviews directly after her husband’s assassination. Greta Gerwig plays Nancy Tuckerman, who served as the White House Secretary in JFK’s administration, and is now the personal secretary of Jackie Onassis. The film is essentially a portrait of grief, as Jackie attempts to reconcile with her husband’s gruesome and untimely death while trying to raise her children. Warning: this is not a happy-go-lucky Greta Gerwig film. This film hurts to watch, but it’s a beautiful sort of ache.
(featured image: A24 / Sony Pictures Classics / Searchlight Pictures / IFC Films)
