Battlestar Galactica Virgin Recap: Miniseries | The Mary Sue
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Does Anyone Want to Watch Battlestar Galactica With Me?

All this has happened before...

I have never seen Battlestar Galactica. Yes, I know, I know. But I made a pledge to myself that this is the year I will. And so I, a BSG virgin, was thinking I’d watch show for the very first time and write about it here as I go along. Because I’ve been reliably informed that it will give me feels nigh impossible to contain. And I want to see what all the hoopla is about, darnit.

Here’s what I thought of the miniseries, beginning with a little disclosure in the form of Things I (Think I) Know About Battlestar Galactica:

  • Starbuck is awesome and genderswapped. Roslin is awesome and non-genderswapped.
  • Earth has been destroyed by the Cylons, which are robots that look like robots except when they look like humans. And what’s left of humanity lives on a spaceship. I think that’s right… maybe?
  • I will hate every single character at some point or another. (So says Susana.)
  • Something about John Hodgman?
  • Lee Adama has daddy issues and at some point wears a towel.
  • Baltar is my favorite character. (Everyone has favorite characters of shows they haven’t watched, right?)

If I were to assign Battlestar Galactica a spirit meme, it would be “that escalated quickly.” There was a war between the Cylons and the 12 colonies—no mention of Earth, so I’m zero for one on my assumptions so far—where the Cylons were able to take advantage of the Internet, basically, to mess humanity up. And the only ship that doesn’t have the Internet is the Galctica (how do they get their cat videos?), commanded by Commander “I’m too old for this s***” Adama. He’s really paranoid about the Cylons attacking again, enough so that he refuses to put advanced tech on the Galactica. Gee, I wonder if that’ll be relevant later on?

Also, the Galactica is being turned into a museum, because symbolism.

I have no feels so far about Adama the older, who’s basically just craggy and authoritative and… meh. He’s alright. Does no one besides Roslin get that he lied about there being an Earth for the survivors of the Cylon attack to go to? Guy has a good poker face, but it’s kind of freaking obvious that there isn’t actually a deus ex terra. Wishful thinking on the colonists’ part shouldn’t be able to keep them from realizing it for that long. He’d better have a backup plan for when they do.

Adama the younger gives me emotions, many of them centered around the fact that I want to slap him. (No one is happy that your brother died, Lee. Stop it with the blame game.) He’s a pretty interesting character so far, even if I’m a bit worried I’ll get sick of the “requisite Daddy issues” plotline if they continue to lean on it as hard as they do here.

Speaking of interesting characters: I think I have a favorite, and it’s not Resident Eventual Woobie Gaius Baltar. It’s Gerard Argent from Teen Wolf Colonel Tigh, who has one more eye than I expected. From the moment Adama went off course during his retirement speech and Tigh made this face, I knew I’d found my BSG spirit animal. I want that to be a recurring theme: Adama does something inspiring, and Tigh makes a face like he got a whiff or something foul. Dude’s a psychotic, curmudgeonly SOB with more issues than Batman. I love him.

As for least favorite: Billy and Dee Williams. It’s not that I particularly dislike them. But their cuteness and uplifting ~we are the hope for humanity~ vibe kind of sticks out like a sore thumb. If this goes on, I might want them to be airlocked. (Though Adama’s “I want them to have children!” moment was pretty unintentionally funny. I think my face mirrored Tigh’s on that one.)

Lieutenant Gaeta’s adorable, as is his little mancrush on Baltar I swear, he stopped just short of asking for his autograph. I sure hope nothing happens to him. (Sorry I’ve jinxed you, Gaeta.)

Starbuck and Roslin are both awesome, so that’s one more I got right. I see in Roslin and Lee Adama a brOTP for the ages. I want them to gang up on Papa Adama from time to time just to make his life difficult. Hey, humanity’s trapped in space. Gotta make your fun where you can.

Baltar bugs me—if you’re going to be a jackass, at least be up front about it like Tigh is. He’s such a snivelling weenie. Jesus.

Boomer… Boomer’s a Cylon. Huh. Though, based on what Six said, she’s a Cylon sleeper agent who doesn’t know she’s a Cylon? I like where this is going. Speaking of Six, I love how she’s the only one who wears futuristic clothes. I don’t know why, I just do. “I’m a robot, dammit, and this is the future. I’m not dressing boring. Don’t leave your baby alone with me, I will break their neck. Clean my shoes, Baltar.”

Seriously, why did the mother turn her back on her baby in the middle of a crowd with a strange lady right beside the stroller? That was a bit ham-handed in terms of establishing how scaaaary Six is. I’m more intrigued by the idea of religious robots. And religious robots hunting what’s left of humanity across space and time? Sign me up.

Speaking of Boomer, I could swear I’ve seen pictures of that co-pilot of hers, the one who was stranded on Caprica, from later episodes. But how would he get back to the fleet? Do the Cylons kidnap him or something? I’m so confused.

Final thoughts: I really like it so far, particularly its less campy, bombastic take on the destruction of humanity. That said, there were moments where it got a little too self-importantly srs bsns for my tastes. I generally dislike it when shows take themselves too seriously, so that might be a problem. Then again, when they were making the miniseries there were no plans for a show yet (so Susana tells me, and I trust her on things BSG-related), so maybe the concentration of drama will be a bit less when they have more hours to work with?

But really, that’s a minor quibble. I can see why people love this show so far. (Though I’ve been informed by a BSG-fan friend of mine that most people don’t like Tigh?! Is that true? That can’t be true. He’s awesome; what happens to make people dislike him? No! Don’t tell me. I’ll get there.)

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