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Battlestar Galactica Newbie Recap: The Captain’s Hand, Downloaded


I’m a sci-fi geek who has never seen Battlestar Galactica. Yes, I know, I know. 2013 is the year I change that, and I’m blogging as I go.

The Captain’s Hand was good, not great. Downloaded left me a gibbbering mess on the floor.

The Captain’s Hand

Battlestar Galactica has an abortion episode?! Well… all right, then.

But before we get to BSG going all political (more explicitly so than usual, I mean), there’s been a bit of trouble on the Pegasus. Namely, two Raptor crews—so four pilots—disappear in the middle of a training exercise. The person in charge of their training is Starbuck, who was lent to the Pegasus and has proceeded to royally piss off its captain, the engineering-grunt-turned-head-honcho Commander Garner. (Ohai, Kevin’s dad from Home Alone).

The friction between Starbuck and Garner has prompted Admiral Adama to temporarily assign Lee—who’s been newly promoted to Major after last episode’s hostage situation—to the Pegasus to keep a watch on his hot-headed BFF.

Lee tells all this to Dee as they engage in a little partially-nude post-coital plot exposition-y snuggling. I never really found Dee compelling as a character, but show, please don’t tell me you’re going to reduce her to being the girlfriend character. She’s better than that. You’re better than that.

When Lee comes aboard the Pegasus Starbuck is waiting for him, though she claims she just happened to be in the neighborhood, pssht, I didn’t want to see you, are you crazy? She’s emotionally messed up over shooting Lee during the hostage crisis, though as “emotionally messed up” is kind of her default state the fact that she’s engaging in some self-hatred isn’t exactly surprising.

They get to the bridge, where Garner tells Lee about the missing pilots and lambasts Starbuck for not having known about them before. It seems that Garner has a point: Starbuck’s training the pilots, and she’s the one who sent them out on that exercise, so she should be aware of how the exercise went.

But the next scene shows us that it’s not so cut-and-dried. Starbuck confronts the other pilots about how they didn’t give her a heads-up, and it comes out that Garner’s told everyone not to discuss flight details with anyone outside the Pegasus crew… so, Starbuck. Garner was on Starbuck’s back for not knowing something he specifically told everyone not to tell her. Jerk. A “paranoid and incompetent” one, to quote Starbuck.

From there we’re back to Lee and Garner, the latter of whom has a great monologue that I’ll refer to as the Song of the Bitter Engineer. Starbuck might be a great pilot, but no one ever cut the engineering grunts—or “snipes”—any slack for doing their jobs well. Snipes do what they’re supposed to, and they do it smoothly, precisely, and without drama. Some people *coughStarbuckcough* could stand to learn some more from them.

Later Lee walks into a flight meeting on Pegasus, where Starbuck and the other pilots, instead of trying to find the missing Raptor crews, are having a grand old time talking about how frakking awful Garner is. Lee yells at them to pipe the frak down, already—they have four missing pilots out there somewhere with only 36 hours of oxygen left, so maybe instead of whining about the boss they should, I don’t know, try and find them?!

He has a point. I don’t really like Starbuck in this episode—she’s definitely a “refuses to play by the rules” type, but it seems out of character to me that she’d just not give a flying frak about four pilots who are about to die.

Starbuck does put her thinking cap on, though, and through examining one of the ships’ last transmissions comes up with a theory: They received a fake distress call that lured them into a Cylon trap. Lee tells Garner Starbuck might know what happened to the pilots, but the conversation devolves into a bout of hair-pulling that ends with Starbuck being threatened with a court martial and confined to her quarters.

Garner, Garner, Garner. For someone so anti-drama, did you just turn what should’ve been a tactical meeting into a snit-fit and then send a pilot to her room? He’s so unprepared to be the Captain it’s not even funny. Though that is the point of his character.

The next scene is of Lee and Starbuck in the locker room, so I guess Starbuck ignored that “confined to your quarters” thing. Attagirl. Lee accuses Starbuck of being an unnecessarily confrontational frak-up. Starbuck accuses Lee of brown-nosing. Lee even throws the fact that Starbuck shot him back in her face, which you can tell Starbuck was just waiting for him to do.

Oh, Starbuck. I want to wrap you in a blanket and give you cigars and booze.

Side note: It’s really crappy of Lee to use the shooting thing against Starbuck. I can understand that Kara “Self-Hatred” Thrace would blame herself for it, but Lee, you’re supposed to be the level-headed one here. It was an accident. It happens. Don’t be a passive-aggressive tool about it. To his credit, you can tell Lee immediately regrets what he said. Still, if he keeps responding to Starbuck’s goading (and if Starbuck keeps goading him in the first place), there’s no way my ship’s going to sail. At least not a healthy version of it

In a scene near the end of the episode the two of them finally make up. Lee says he’s been mad at Starbuck for bucking authority and getting away with is, which is what she always does, so he’s not sure why it ticks him off so much now. Starbuck forgives him, and they hug. Awwww.

A Raptor out on patrol near where the other two disappeared hear what appears to be a distress signal from one of the missing ships. But it’s not time for celebration yet: Lee tells Garner that it might be a genuine distress signal, but it might also be a Cylon trap. Garner, recognizing that it’s Starbuck theory, proceeds to soundly ignore it, even though Lee says she might be right. He gets Papa Adama on the phone, who proceeds to tell Garner that yeeeeah, this probably is a trap, so maybe just send a rescue team instead of a Battlestar that we really can’t afford to lose, k? Oh, and that’s an order, by the way.

An order that Garner quickly disobeys. He orders the ship to jump straight to the source of the distress call. Lee tries to arrest Garner, which causes Garner to try and arrest him, and in the meantime there’s this poor guard in between them whose life is flashing before his eyes. He decides to obey Garner and take Lee to the brig, but there’s not even enough time to frogmarch him out of the room before the missing pilots are found. Sorry, did I say the pilots? I meant the pilots’ corpses. Three Cylon base stars show up and quickly take out the Pegasus’ FTL drive, cutting off their escape.


Garner’s on the horn with engineering, which is being a total failboat at repairing the FTL drive. Seeing that he’s likely gotten the Pegasus destroyed and her entire crew killed, he takes it upon himself to go fix the darn thing himself, leaving Lee in command of the rest of the ship.

Let’s all take a moment to appreciate Lee’s “Oh holy s***” face.

He snaps out of the abject shock and panic pretty quickly, snapping off orders to try and even the odds by attacking the base stars. The Pegasus, with the help of the Viper pilots (including Starbuck), manages to take one down.

Meanwhile, engineering has found the source of the problem: A coolant leak only accessible by a hatch that, if opened, might suck all of engineering out into the blackness of space. Open it anyway, says Garner. We have no other choice. In a stroke of good luck the hatch hasn’t reinvented itself as an ersatz airlock, but the hall beyond is still rapidly losing oxygen. Garner goes in by himself and manages to fix the leak just before he runs out of air and dies. Poor guy. But he’s saved the Pegasus, which then gets the heck out of dodge.

The next scene is Lee and Adama back on the Galactica, reviewing all the crazy stuff that went down on the Pegasus. With Garner dead the ship needs a new Captain, and Adama gives the job to a surprised Lee. Garner was my choice before, he explained, so his failure is my failure, too. Now that you’re Captain, don’t let me fail again.

Jesus frakking Christ, even the happy bonding scenes between these two are tainted by inadequacy-related daddy issues!

Speaking of the Galactica, what’s been happening on her all this time? Oh, that’s right. Abortion controversy.

The flight deck crew is loading crates when they see something moving inside one of them. They call the marines in to help, but Tyrol decides to go inside and check it out personally, because…. no, I’ve not nothing. Tyrol, your species is being hunted down by murderous, super-smart robots. Do not check out the mysterious movement in the dark crate by yourself, oh my freaking God. You wouldn’t last five minutes in a horror movie!

Luckily for Tyrol the stowaway isn’t a baddie but a pregnant girl named Rya, who’s come from one of the ships run by the super-religious colony of Gemenon so Doc Cottle can give her an abortion.

Meanwhile Roslin’s on Cloud 9 with Tory, the new Billy. The Presidential election’s coming up, and Roslin’s pretty convinced she’s going to win, because A) she has the support of the military and civilian fleets, plus the Gemenese religious leaders, and B) who’s going to run against her? Tom Zarek, the convicted terrorist? Please.

But Zarek has other plans. He meets with Baltar and tells him he could have won before Roslin embraced her inner prophet, but now he doesn’t stand a chance. (What’s up with that prophecy thing, by the way? I assume the fleet’s headed vaguely in the direction of Earth? And it was pretty clear in the prophecy that the true prophet dies of some wasting disease—but Roslin’s cancer was cured. So was she the prophet? Was the prophecy ever legit in the first place?)

His own candidacy might be doomed to failure, Zarek explains, but Baltar could beat her. He’s already the Vice President, which is a point in his favor, plus many people would rather vote for science than religion. (Dear Battlestar Galactica: Please do not go down the route of demonizing science for being soulless or whatever. Thank you. Sincerely, Rebecca.) Once Balatar gets elected Zarek just asks that he “remember his friends,” i.e. Zarek. Whoomp, there it is.

Back to the pregnant Rya Kirby, who’s the subject of a discussion between Adama and Doc Cottle. Her people won’t let her have an abortion, Cottle explains. In cases like these I get a name, the girl comes to me, I do my work, the girl leaves. Bada-bing. I don’t ask many questions.

But not asking questions isn’t Adama’s style. He tells Rya that her parents are worried about her, and Rya asks whether he knows what they’ll do to her if Adama sends her back. All the same, Adama counters, you’re a stowaway on a military vessel. You can’t stay.

Doc Cottle pipes up in the background, saying that’s she’s technically a victim of political prosecution and could always apply for asylum, y’know, if she wanted. Adama sends him a death look, but Doc Cottle doesn’t care, because he’s Doc Cottle, sonny Jim, so watch your tone. Rya thinks asylum sounds like a great idea… so now this whole thing has turned from a military issue to a political one.

Sarah, the Gemenese representative, visits Roslin and demands not only that Rya be returned to her parents but that abortion be outlawed… at least if Roslin wants Gemenon’s support in the upcoming election. No go, says Roslin. Abortion was legal before the Cylon attack, and it’s legal now. Shoo.

Now comes my least favorite part of the episode. Roslin tells Adama there’s no way she’s turning Rya in or banning abortion, to which Adama responds that, with the population so low, maybe she should ban abortion, just as a practical measure. Roslin’s horrified—she’s been fighting for women’s right to control their own bodies her whole career—but Adama throws Roslin’s words from the miniseries back in her face: If humanity’s going to survive after the Cylon attack, people had better start having babies.

Adama, I’d like to remind you of something you said in a previous episode, the one where you decided not to kill Cain, even though it’d be easy, because it would also be the wrong thing to do. Humanity can’t just survive. It also has to be worthy of surviving. I’m sure you remember it; it was a big emotional revelation on your part. Adama supporting an abortion ban seems so out of character to me, I can’t even.

Whacked out though the abortion ban is, Roslin considers it. She asks Baltar for demographic projections, and what follows is a hilarious exchange where Baltar’s all “Oh well I’m sort of busy, luckily I did these projections months ago and only had to add the Pegasus’ numbers, which took no time at all because I’m super-smart, and I totally didn’t mind doing it, even though I’m really busy, like I said. So you don’t have to read all these big, science-y words in my report, how ’bout I just tell you the basics?”

The funny thing is that I really didn’t paraphrase him all that much. Roslin looks like she wants to murder him.

Baltar tells Roslin that if things stay as they are now humanity will die out in 18 years. Liar, liar, pants on fire. It’s never explicitly stated that he made that up, but c’mon, he totally pulled that figure, if not the existence of the report itself, out of his ass. If he’s known for months that humanity’s going to die in under two decades, why didn’t he, I dunno, mention it to someone? (I really wanted Roslin to call him on that, but alas, she did not.) I wouldn’t put it past him to keep that information to himself, but actually doing the demographic report in the first place, without being asked? Pssht, please.

What does he even do all day? He and Six don’t seem to have any non-crisis-related conversation topics (“Hmm… how ’bout that Cylon god?”), and it’s not like he does any Vice Presidenting. Ditto actual research into the Cylons, at least that we know of of. My headcanon? He’s teaching himself the oboe.

Armed with likely fabricated statistics (Roslin, nooooo! Fact check! I get her primary goal has always been the survival of humanity, but the way she so easily abandons her convictions seems like really sloppy storytelling to me), Roslin holds a press conference wherein she announces abortion is now illegal. That’s not enough for the Gemenon representative, who demands that Rya be returned as well. No can do, says Roslin: She already got an abortion, which happened before I made them illegal, by the way, and we also granted her asylum. So. mSuck. It.

There’s a second press conference, but this one is more interesting: Baltar hijacks it to announce that disagrees with Roslin’s stance on abortion. With every limitation to our freedoms we become more and more like the Cylons, he explains, Six grinning evilly in the back of the room. Therefore he’s decided to run for President himself.

Cue Roslin murder face #2.

Someone tell me she hauls off and slaps him at some point. Please.


This episode. Oh my God. Oh my Cylon God. Oh my mother-frakking Cylon God.

This 43 minutes of pure cinematic brilliance starts off nine months before the present day, on Caprica during the Cylon attack. (It’s only been nine months? Damn.) We see the scene from the miniseries with Six telling Baltar about Cylon reincarnation and then shielding his body from a nuclear blast, saving him but killing (one of) her.

Nothing new yet. But then she wakes up in a new body, with a Lucy Lawless Cylon (fine, fine, I’ll call her Three), a Boomer Cylon, and another Six Cylon there with her, helping her through the initial panic and disorientation. OK, nothing weird about tha–

—is that Baltar?!

I’m not really here, and no one can see me but you, he says to Six. And I’d recommend you keep it that way. Oh, and you probably shouldn’t let them know how you feel about me.

Three asks whether Six cares whether Baltar’s dead, and she follows head!Baltar’s lead, saying it would be unfortunate if he died because he was so helpful. Three then gives Six a verbal pat on the back for disabling Caprica’s defenses so very, very well.

Wait, wait, wait, hold up. There’s a head!Baltar mentally shacking up with another version of Six on Caprica? And he manipulates her the same way head!Six manipulates the real Baltar? But throughout this episode head!Six and head!Baltar act more like each other—all sneaky with their cutting insults and their manipulation—than they do either of their corporeal counterparts. Is head!Six not actually Six, but some other random person/Cylon (??) who’s also head!Baltar? Or is she Six, but just another version? But then who’s head!Baltar? Will the real Baltar and the Six he knew—who’s on Caprica still being all in love with him, not the one in his head—ever meet?

What’s going on here?! I do not have enough shocked gifs for this!

Ahem. Back to the episode.

We flash to ten weeks later, right after Cally shot the version of Boomer that shot Adama. Boomer downloads into a new body, where she’s greeted by Three, Six, the PR Cylon guy (Doral! His name is Doral! I finally know his name!), and another version of herself. Thoroughly freaked out and without an imaginary friend to tell her what to say, she pulls a Darth Vaderian (except more dignified) “Noooooooo!”

Caprica. Present day. Six is chilling in a park while Centurions plant trees and make the place look all pretty again. Head!Baltar interrupts her peace by pointing out that they’re really building a memorial—you know, because billions of people died? Because of you? Remember that? The Six we know wouldn’t care about that, but this version clearly does.

Three pops in to check on Six, who says she’s still getting used to her new body. Three commiserates; it can be awkward at first, but downloading to a new body is also a great chance to leave all the emotional baggage from previous incarnations behind and start again, hint hint. Six should feel good, because she’s a war hero: The Cylons couldn’t have defeated the humans without her. Doral reiterates the point: When she did is inspiring. Six makes an uncomfortable face; she clearly doesn’t agree with him.

Back on the Galactica, still in the present day, Boomer’s about to pop out her little’un. But there’s a problem: Boomer has a detached placenta, so Doc Cottle has to perform a c-section now or both mother and child could die. The birth is successful, though the baby’s lungs aren’t working fully, so she needs to stay in sick bay under observation for a while. Oh, and the baby’s name is Hera. (Speculation tangent: In Greek mythology Hera was big on vengeance, though said vengeance was mostly enacted against people who didn’t actually deserve it, e.g. her cheating husband’s illegitimate kids. Could that be relevant to what happens with Hera later on? Or am I just getting too excited about Greek mythology?)

Speaking of Boomer: After further regaling Six with compliments about her newfound celebrity status, Three asks for her help. See, seducing and manipulating Baltar must’ve been disturbing at times, and there’s someone else who’s been through something disturbing and is having trouble integrating into her new body afterwards. That would be Boomer. Caprica Boomer, that is. (God, I hate this show sometimes.) She refuses to leave her human life behind, and unless Six convinces her to come into the Cylon fold she could be “boxed,” or all her memories put in cold storage.

A horrified Six (a Six caring about Boomer and actively trying to help her? This is new.) agrees to help. She goes to see Boomer, who’s still living in the apartment she inhabited when she thought she was human, surrounded by family pictures and mementos. Boomer doesn’t trust Six, saying she must be a good liar if she knew what she was and was able to live as a human for two years. Head!Baltar steps in, telling Six to “start with the elephants,” meaning a pair of elephant statues Boomer has on a table. Six asks about them, which leads to Boomer opening up a bit about her mother.

How did Baltar know to ask about the elephants?

Six proceeds down the path of religion—good to know at least there’s that similarity between Six and head!Six—telling Boomer that following God’s path is never easy. Head!Baltar immediately tells her not to go with religion on this one, and it turns out he was right (How?!), because it sets Boomer off. You think I care about your God, she asks? Six, flustered, tells Boomer that God loves her, but Boomer’s having none of it. The love I felt for my buds on the Galactica, and the love they felt for me, was real love. My feelings were real, even if I betrayed everyone.

She throws the picture against the wall, and Six, with some excellent timing, scratches her own face and makes it look like it’s glass from the picture frame that did it. Boomer rushes to get her a bandage, but head!Baltar instantly picks up on her manipulation and congratulates her for it. You’re good at “feigning emotional vulnerability” and all, but I’m better, so let me help.

From then on he guides Six in what to say. I’m like you, she tells Boomer. I had someone I loved here on Caprica, and I think he could’ve loved me too. The last part she and head!Baltar say in sync, which is really creepy, but I’m not even going to bother to try and figure out what it means. I officially give up.

From there we meet up with who else but Anders and two other members of the human resistance. We saw them earlier in the episode spying on Six and Three, and now we find out their plan: They’re going to blow up a cafe where skinjobs like to meet. Sure, it’s sort of pointless because they’ll just re-download into new bodies, but Anders tells his doubting comrade that Cylons remember everything up to the moment they die, so maybe if the resistance bequeathes enough of them with memories of being blown to bits they’ll eventually realize Caprica isn’t a safe place and just… go away.

Anders. That’s stupid. Granted, I don’t know what else the resistance could be doing, but… Maybe if we irritate them enough they’ll go away? C’mon.

Back in Boomer’s apartment Six tells Boomer about how she went back to Baltar’s apartment after the destruction of Caprica and took a few souvenirs. She kept them for a while but then burned them, because they were keeping her from embracing her new life. Nice story, Baltar says, too bad you’re lying through your teeth. Later on he cuts her down for being “more human than Cylon.” I like this new Baltar. As a character, that is. He’s intriguing. In real life I’d want to punch him.

Boomer asks who Six’s mystery paramour is and is shocked when the answer is Gaius Baltar. Does that mean he’s still working with the Cylons? This is the first time that Six has heard Baltar’s still alive, and the news throws her for a major loop.

Aboard the Galactica Roslin, Adama, Tigh, and Baltar are discussing what to do with Boomer’s baby if it survives. Baltar accuses Roslin of suggesting that it be killed, to which the President responds: “I don’t make suggestions, Mr. Baltar. If I want to toss a baby out of an airlock, I’d say so.”

Favorite Laura Roslin quote, right there. Can I get that on a t-shirt?

Tigh pipes up to make sure everyone remembers it’s a machine, not a baby, kthx. Pretty sure he wants to get “Cylon = machines” tattooed on his big bald head so people will stop forgetting it. Baltar responds that it’s half-machine, but also half-human, and they can’t ignore that second half. He has a point. If only he weren’t a giant traitorhead. Adama, ever-practical, warns that the Cylons went through a heck of a lot to make this baby, and if it’s good for them it’s probably bad for us. They absolutely cannot let the Cylons get their hands on it or even let Boomer raise it herself. Head!Six, creeping on the conversation, tells Baltar that they’ll just have to take the baby themselves.

Back on Caprica Six and Boomer are chatting about Three and her possible ulterior motives (with head!Baltar throwing self esteem-injuring zingers Six’s way the whole time). Like why would Three bring Boomer and Six together when she must’ve known Boomer would tell Six Baltar was alive? The (possibly accurate) the conclusion they come to is that Three knew Six had feelings for Baltar and she intentionally wants to trigger those feelings by having her meet with Boomer. She’s messing with Six’s head—but to what end?

Speak of the devil and (s)he shall appear: Three pops in to catch up, exuding Lucy Flawless wonderfulness behind her. Six tells her that Boomer agreed to move out of her apartment. She hasn’t actually asked about that yet, but Boomer, sensing that there’s a conspiracy she needs to get in on, agrees. The three of them head to Boomer’s apartment to help her box things up, and their route takes them right past the parking garage that’s about to be lit up by Anders’ bomb. Three’s insistence that they leave right then is suspicious, though more suspicious is the evil little smirk she throws when a Centurion shows up in the parking garage. It almost manages to stop the bomb, but Anders distracts it long enough for the big boom.

There’s drama of a less explode-y nature going on on the Galactica, where Roslin’s decided what to do with Boomer’s baby. She asks Cottle’s help finding a foster parent, and while he’s clearly not comfortable with what he’s being asked to do, he agrees.

Back on Caprica Six, Three, and Boomer have been spared a bloody death by being in a stairwell at the time of the explosion. Six has been injured, though, and Three clearly wants to kill her (“You sure you don’t want me to put you out of your misery? One blow to the head, it’d be quick. Huh? Huh? Come onnnn.”) Six declines her most generous offer.

In an amusing exchange, Boomer asks why the resistance would blow up the cafe when it has no military value. Three responds that humans don’t respect life the way Cylons do. Oh, irony. The trio finds the unconscious Anders, who’s been buried under the rubble. Three’s all ready and raring to kill him (“Let me kill something, pleeeease“), but Six objects, giving the reason that they really should take him in for interrogation.

Of course, since Six is there, head!Baltar is too. He asks why she cares whether Anders lives when she doesn’t have a conscience anyway, and when Three finds Starbuck’s dogtags around Anders’ neck he taunts her for not being able to feel love. “I did,” she says. “I do. I love you, Gaius.” His response is the less-than-romantic “Where’s the proof?”

These two are so messed up, I love it to death.

On the Galactica Boomer gets the news that Hera’s died from completely natural causes, thank you very much, which makes her just a tad bit upset. A little. She throttles Doc Cottle and screams at everyone in the room that they’re murderers before being dragged away by the guards.

Also royally pissed off is head!Six, who accuses a crying Baltar of letting their child be murdered. God’s will was that the child survive and lead a new generation of God’s children, she says, and you were supposed to protect her. Failing to do that is an unforgivable sin that God will rain vengeance down on humanity for.

Of course, Hera’s not really dead: Roslin gives the infant to a woman named Maya, who’s told she has to keep the adoption absolutely secret because the mother’s an officer on the Pegasus. Roslin. You’re foisting a human/Cylon baby on this person and you don’t even let her know about it?! Sigh. I understand the necessity, I really do. Telling anyone who doesn’t already know that there’s a human/Cylon baby would really screw with the whole “absolute secrecy” thing. Still. Poor woman.

Meanwhile, in the parking garage, Anders comes to. Three is all ready to blow his brains out, interrogation or no, but Six says not to. With tensions between Three, Six, and Boomer reaching a boiling point, head!Baltar gives Six the bit o’ information that’ll tip it over: The reason Three was frakking with Six’s head is that she wanted to box her as well as Boomer.

Boomer and Six confront Three: They’re two celebrities in a culture based on uniformity, which spells bad news if they happen to have a different perspective from the rest of their race, because people are more likely to listen to them. And they do have a different perspective, because they’ve experienced love. Murder and genocide are sins, says Six, and if the rest of the Cylons knew that they’d have to consider that the whole killing humanity thing might have been a bit… how do you say… wrong.

A crash sounds through the parking garage as the rescue team makes their way through the rubble. Anders dives for the gun he dropped, but Three gets her hands on it when Boomer tackles him. She holds the gun on Anders but doesn’t get a chance to fire… because Starbuck beans her in the head with a rock. Several times. With a good amount of force.

The two remaining Cylons let a confused Anders go, and with the gun, no less. He asks what kind of people they are, and Six says they don’t even know, man. After he leaves Six says they have at least 36 hours until Three gets downloaded into a new body and is able to spread the word of their treason. That should be plenty of time for them to start their new lives as Cylon revolutionary leaders, giving the rest of their people a new beginning, one without hate. Head!Baltar says he’s never loved anyone more than he loves Six right now.

The episode ends with the two of them being rescued and a hopeful/ominous shot of Maya holding baby Hera.

So… head!Six has been manipulating Baltar to support the Cylons. Head!Baltar is manipulating Six against the Cylons and in support of humanity. But both head!Six and head!Baltar have the same MO: Knowing things they shouldn’t know; alternatively breaking their target’s psyche down with insults and building it up with protestations of love; spouting cryptic, impressive-sounding statements. It’s like they’re the same person, but working at cross-purposes… or are they?

And that wasn’t even the season two finale! Jesus Christ! I’ve been reliably informed that the actual finale, which is the next two episodes, will break my brain. Check back next Wednesday to see if I’m still coherent.

In an effort to avoid spoilers, comments on this post have been locked. However, Jill and Susana will be reading comments over at our Facebook page, so if there’s anything you’d like to say in response to this post head on over that way. Former Battlestar Galactica Newbie Recaps can be found here, and next week’s recap is here. Have a (non-spoilery, for the love of God) comment? Hit me up on Twitter.

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