Admiral Ackbar Mounting Glorious Campaign To Become New Ole Miss Mascot

It’s true that colleges occasionally become dissatisfied with their mascots and swap them out for a new one. Ordinarily, schools go straight for another conventional college mascot — but could Admiral Ackbar, the squid-like Star Wars character, be poised to become the new mascot of Ole Miss?

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That’s right, Ole Miss (The University of Mississippi) — the school with a slaveowning plantation owner as its mascot. Will the undergraduates of Dixie cast off offensiveness for absurdity? Is a Rebel Alliance admiral a match for a Confederate colonel? Would the Millennium Falcon defeat the Merrimac in a battle? Details below!

First, it’s important to note that switching out a college mascot isn’t without precedent. UC Santa Cruz held such a vote in 1986, with a highly original result, while my alma mater did so in the 1950s, although their choice was much more conventional. Most recently, the University of Mississippi (colloquially, Ole Miss) announced they’re getting in on the mascot-voting act, but thanks to the brilliant actions of one concerned party, whatever happens with the upcoming vote will be secondary to the inevitable hilarity.

That’s right — all that really matters in the Ole Miss contest is the candidacy of Admiral Ackbar, among the most beloved of all tertiary Star Wars characters. Whoever is behind this is clearly a genius, so it’s no surprise that the URL for the Admiral’s campaign website (“notatrap.org”) is wisely based off his most famous exclamation. In fact, Ackbar’s team appears to be using all the tools available to promote his candidacy — you can find him on Twitter and Facebook (over 600 friends – he’s gaining steam).

As might be expected, the college sports corner of the blogosphere is just as delighted about this as we are. Spencer Hall of the always-entertaining Every Day Should Be Saturday lobbied hard for Ackbar (“Like the residents of Mississippi, he has gills and wears a uniform at all times”), while this post at Mountain West Connection shows the Ackbar campaign is going national.

Sadly, at Ole Miss there’s a backdrop of tragedy to this whole affair. Bennie F. Abram, a walk-on to Ole Miss’ football team, collapsed during a workout Friday and later died — a scenario that’s become all too common in college athletics. Ackbar’s Twitter and Facebook accounts have not commented on Abram’s death — understandable, considering it was meant to be satirical (and has probably already succeeded beyond the creator’s expectations).

Despite the buzz surrounding Ackbar, the student vote will, alas, more likely show a preference for the classic Colonel Reb. Still, the Admiral has made his mark. Now if only we could get the Trinity Christian College Trolls to change their mascot to something a bit more modern.


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Glen Tickle
Glen is a comedian, writer, husband, and father. He won his third-grade science fair and is a former preschool science teacher, which is a real job.