Dallas woman lays out all dealbreakers before date. Her Hinge match still manages to sneak one past her: ‘I just left him at the table’

Dating apps, like Hinge, already feel like a full-time screening process. However, one Dallas woman says even a multi-step vetting system still wasn’t enough to stop a man from sneaking a major detail past her.

After laying out her non-negotiables directly on her Hinge profile and confirming them again over a pre-date phone call, she thought she was finally heading into a straightforward lunch date. Instead, while waiting for the food, her match casually admitted he had the exact dealbreaker she’d made crystal clear from the beginning.

To his gall and surprise, she immediately calls for the check. Now, she says she has a new mantra: leaving dates at the table.

Hinge stories tend to go viral, with women usually displeased by the men in the current market. Amanda (@amandalmartinezz) isn’t the first woman to leave the table before the entrees are served.

In another story covered by The Mary Sue, one woman left her date at the table for much less. She claimed that the man was not engaging or trying to get to know her better. Therefore, she called for the check and excused herself from the date before the meals were even served.

Amanda, however, claims this situation is a giant breach of distrust. Many of her 4.5 million viewers also believe so.

What Are Her Dealbreakers?

From the get-go, Amanda reveals what her deal-breakers are, skipping any confusion that might occur. She names the four main boundaries: voting for Trump, being super religious, wanting children, and already having children. Amanda does not want to date anyone who falls under these categories. What’s more, she even schedules a call with a prospective date just to clarify it even further in case they skimmed over it in her profile.

So with this particular man, she had already done all her usual vetting process. He never mentioned anything that was in her non-negotiables. He moves forward to the next step: the date.

What Happens on the Hinge Date?

They decide to meet at a restaurant. While they’re waiting for the food, the topic of kids comes up. This is when her date decides to drop the truth bomb.

“He’s like ‘ha ha ha, so funny. I actually have a kid,’” Amanda recounts. “I’m like ‘I beg your finest pardon?”

Turns out, the man has a kid, but just decided not to share this information with Amanda prior to meeting. Even when they had a phone call, she reiterated those non-negotiables. When she asks him why he withheld that information, his response is equally as upsetting to her.

“You wouldn’t have shown up on this date,” she recalls him saying. Amanda shares how upsetting his reasoning was, because it didn’t come from a place that needed empathy but rather from the intent to lie and mislead her.

What Does Amanda Do?

Considering how frustrated she was at the new information and his nonchalance, Amanda heads to the restroom to recoup her bearings. She says the minute he revealed the truth, she knew she wouldn’t ever see him again.

She made up her mind to ghost him. Before she makes it back to the table, she realizes she doesn’t have to stay there.

“I don’t have that many F’s to give in life anymore when it comes to dating,” she says.

She instead goes to the waiter and asks for her check. She doesn’t say anything to her date, even when she sits back down. It’s only until the waiter brings her the check that the Hinge date realizes what is happening. He questions her, and Amanda tells him, “I have a boundary, and I have a boundary for reasons. And the fact that you didn’t respect it and the fact that you lied to me is a done deal.” 

Even after saying that, the man asks if she was “really about to get up from this table.” Amanda does.

She leaves and is now telling her viewers that this is something women should do more of.

In a follow-up TikTok, Amanda delves deeper into this topic. She believes that women are often taught that “we can make ourselves uncomfortable as long as the other person’s comfortable.” She wants the lesson of her story to serve as a reminder that women can uphold their boundaries.

@amandalmartinezz New mantra: leaving dates at the table ?? #dating #datingadvice ♬ original sound – Amanda

Viewers are Angry

Many are flat-out as upset as Amanda. The top comment has almost 145,000 likes, saying, “’But then you wouldn’t have shown up’ THATS THE POINT! Don’t waste people’s time!”

Another with 44,000 likes shares their bafflement, writing “He really thought that if you met him – you’d be so entranced you’d just change your whole life goals???” 

Some start calling out the textbook red flags. “Withholding information is a form of manipulation!” claims one viewer. 

One asks, “Why did you pay? he wasted your time and gas!”

Lastly, one viewer says, “Yep, they depend on you to maintain social norm or etiquette. He thought you guy already being there would trap you in the situation cus ‘who would just leave abruptly’…me.”

The Mary Sue reached out to Amanda via email.

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