Aussie woman loses it after getting asked to be in a ‘friends with chemistry and intimacy’ situationship after multiple dates: ‘I had to touch grass’
The application idea doesn’t sound too bad.
The modern dating cycle is often a repetitive loop of hope and disappointment. But for Australian creator Shan McDerms (TikTok/@itsshanmcderms), the latest “situationship” pitch was the final straw.
In a sharp-witted viral rant, Shan detailed how a promising connection dissolved into a request for a weird dynamic. The man’s proposal sounded suspiciously like a relationship, minus the actual commitment.
Telling the tale, the creator attacks the absolute audacity of men who attempt to “build a friendship” that includes intimacy. Especially after knowing the woman’s dating goals.
Multiple dinner and coffee dates led to a ‘Situationship’ trap
The catalyst for Shan’s viral “crash out” was a man who seemed to be on the exact same page as her during their initial courtship. After taking her out to dinner and multiple coffee dates, he hit her with a confusing new description for their connection.
“I just really want to build a friendship and a genuine, playful connection with chemistry and intimacy,” he told her. Shan was quick to translate the request into plain English: he wanted her time and energy without the risk of a formal commitment.
The ‘Touch Grass’ moment was a necessary mental health break.
Shan’s reaction featured the classic “Confused Nick Young” meme. It captured her disbelief that a man would find her “so good not to pass up” but still refuse to commit. The absurdity of the situation became so overwhelming that Shan had to physically remove herself from the digital world.
“I had to come outside to touch grass before I lost it,” she told her followers. She ended the video with a look of pure exhaustion at the state of dating in 2026.
Shan is now demanding a ‘thousand-word application’ for future suitors
Exhausted by the lack of transparency in the dating market, Shan joked that she is now requiring a rigorous vetting process for any man attempting to get her number. “At this point baby, I’m gonna need an application,” she declared.
The creator specified a requirement for a “minimum of thousand words, with two references.” Her frustration stems from men who continue to pursue her despite knowing her long-term relationship goals from the start.
People are trying to get into situationship lite these days
The phrase “friends with chemistry and intimacy” is a classic example of “commitment-avoidant” language. By framing a sexual and emotional relationship as a “friendship,” the pursuer creates a loophole. They can enjoy the benefits of a partner without the accountability of the title.
For women like Shan, who are transparent about their dating goals, these requests feel like a deliberate waste of time. It’s simply an attempt from men to see how much emotional labor they can extract for free.
How to identify a commitment dodger early
If you’re tired of being asked to join a “playful connection” that goes nowhere, look for early signals. If a man uses the word “friendship” while actively seeking “intimacy,” he is signaling that he wants a low-stakes environment where he can exit without breaking up.
Commitment dodgers often move the “intimacy” portion of the relationship into private spaces quickly. Sticking to public dinner and coffee dates, as Shan did, is the best way to see how long they can maintain the “friendship” charade.
While Shan was joking about the two references, checking a suitor’s social reputation within your community can save you from a serial situationship enthusiast.
Aussie honesty is the only cure for a bad date
Shan McDerms’ viral reality check serves as a collective sigh for every woman currently navigating the “playful connection” minefield. While the man in her story might still be looking for a friend with benefits, Shan walked away with her standards intact and a fresh breath of outdoor air.
We’re keeping an eye on Shan’s feed to see if the first 1,000-word application has been submitted yet. Until then, keep your grass green and your boundaries even greener.
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