Texas man takes woman to Applebee’s on a date. Then he sees what she orders: ‘A wine bottle fell out of her back pocket’
There are bad first dates, and then there are… full-contact endurance tests at Applebee’s. One Texas man thought he was signing up for a casual night out with a woman he matched with on Facebook Dating. Maybe some drinks, a little conversation, the usual. Instead, he got a front-row seat to a solo food marathon.
As if that wasn’t enough, there was also a surprise confession of lactose intolerance mid-cheesestick spree. And to top it off, the woman apparently treated her back pocket like a mobile wine cellar. Somehow, against all logic and self-preservation instincts, he stayed. Viewers are scratching their heads as to why and how he managed to do so.
It seems Facebook Dating is just a breeding ground for wild stories. From a man looking for a step-mom for his daughters before his murder trial to an alleged pawn shop thief who had billionaire parents. The Mary Sue has covered countless stories from women, but this new tale comes from a gentleman who just couldn’t say no. The story comes from Jake Smith (@jakesmith1152). The video is just over eight minutes long, garnering 189,000 views already.
What Happened Leading Up to the Date?
Jake starts by setting the story: he messaged a girl on the site, and she answered after a month and a half. At the time, he was at his brother’s and sister-in-law’s house, spending time with his niece. The woman wastes no time; she immediately asks him what he’s doing that night and if he wants to meet.
Jake is apprehensive at first, but his sister-in-law convinces him to go. When he goes to pick her up, he immediately notes that she has “shoulders like a middle linebacker” and a “bad leg, bad hip, bad back, bad posture, everything.” Jake says he’s not judgmental and that maybe she was insecure about these aspects, so he chooses not to comment on it.
They go out for dinner at Applebee’s. He goes to the restroom first, and when he returns, he sees three cheesesticks on their table.
Jake assumes they’ll each eat one and share the third, but it doesn’t turn out that way.
“I ate one, she ate one, and then she ate two while eating the cheesesticks with ranch,” Jake says. HE promises that the ranch has relevance to the story later on. They then start ordering the food. Since he’s thinking of his wallet, he orders the quesadillas because they’re the cheapest.
What does she order? The “triple-decker of ribs, wings, everything.” He claims she also got nachos with extra sour cream. Jake does the math in his head and discovers he’s already out of $60.
What Happened During the Date?
As they start getting to know each other through conversation, the woman off-handedly drops key information. Apparently, she is lactose intolerant. Jake doesn’t mention it, but he remembers the ranch and sour cream she ate.
They move locations to a bar. Jake claims he doesn’t drink, but she’s “getting drunk.” Then it happens. As they’re leaving the bar, a mini wine bottle falls out of her back pocket. “I’m like, this girl’s been drinking while drinking,” he exclaims. “Like she’s chasing alcohol with wine.”
Somehow, it gets worse.
They Go to Her Apartment
Even after all these things, Jake still keeps moving along with the date. The third and last location is her apartment. At first, he says he just wants to drop her off because he feels uncomfortable. He walks her to her apartment and helps her to the restroom because she is “drunk off her a–.”
They migrate to her room and as she’s lying down and he’s setting up a movie, Jake hears a distinct sound.
“Ain’t no way this girl just farted like that,” he says. “Then, I start to smell it…now I get why she says she’s lactose intolerant.” Despite this, Jake acts like he didn’t hear it. She does it again. He decides to push through and lie down with her on the bed.
He says they don’t do anything because he’s simply “trying to function.” At just before midnight, he says he’s already counting down the hours until his 5 a.m. alarm. As the night passes, he mentions that she farts again. To add to the terrible experience, he says she is taking up the whole bed and he’s on the corner.
When morning comes, Jake says he was so anxious to leave that he woke up before his alarm. Apparently, they had plans to feed cows in the morning. She asks if she will still join him, but he comes up with an excuse that his boss doesn’t want strangers there. He leaves and two hours later, receives a text from her saying that it’s not going to work out. Jake replies, “I 100% agree with you.” He concludes his story by saying he just doesn’t understand.
‘You did everything but go home’
Jake’s viewers are quick with the blame and interrogation. A comment with over 9,000 likes says, “My brother in Christ, why did you spend the night???” Jake replies, “I still don’t have a reasonable answer for that.”
A second viewer simply says, “You did everything but go home.” While a third claims, “Sir, you did NOT need to sleep there, that’s wild.”
Similarly, a comment with over 500 likes says, “You know you could have left at any moment.” Jake responds, “I could’ve but I wanted to see what else the night would bring.”
Naturally, others start with their jokes. “You paid $60 and all you got was the old duch (sic) oven,” says one viewer. Another says, “Farting on the first date is diabolical.”
@jakesmith1152 That time I took a girl to Applebees #Applebees #Fyp #dategonewrong #Funny ♬ original sound – jakesmith1152
Some can’t help but note the site. “Applebees, Facebook dating! I knew it was going to hell,” claims one viewer. Lastly, another says, “This is a sign that I don’t need to sign on to Facebook Dating.”
The Mary Sue reached out to Jake via TikTok direct message.
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