Christian Bale in 'Newsies' opposite the artwork for Beyoncé's new single, "Texas Hold 'Em"

No Thoughts, Just Newsies Dancing to Beyoncé’s ‘Texas Hold ’Em’

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a long week and my brain is feeling extra smooth. Like the contents of a jar of JIF. And this clip from Newsies set to Beyoncé’s new country track “Texas Hold ’Em” might as well be prestige television.

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Beyoncé dropped the first two tracks from Renaissance: Act II during the Super Bowl, which was somehow only five days ago even though it feels like we’ve lived through at least two dozen acts of hostile discourse since then: Can Beyoncé even do country music? IS THAT ALLOWED? (Yes, like most things in white culture, we stole it from Black people.) Is it actually GAY that the secret liberal psyop known as Taylor Swift and her football boyfriend are not already married and procreating? (No? What?) Should Jon Stewart be allowed to criticize Joe Biden with the threat of another Donald Trump presidency looming over us? (Yes, because guess what? Joe Biden kind of sucks, guys.) And, my favorite, IS KRISTEN STEWART ALLOWED TO BE THIS GAY?!?! (Yes, and thank god.)

All of which is to say: my capacity for having an opinion at this point in the month-week is greatly diminished. I cannot possibly ingest any media that might require critical thought. Like a toddler, I can only be soothed by one of those bouncy swings with colorful lights and sounds meant to “enrich” my cognitive center. Behold, a gift from social media:

Yes, @sweatyandgay, “Texas Hold ’Em” does go well with this dance number from Newsies, one of the greatest movies of all time. For the youngs in the audience, Newsies is a 1992 Disney musical directed by Kenny Ortega—EVER HEARD OF HIM?!—with original music by Alan Menken, who wrote all the good Disney songs from your favorite Disney animated movies. And it stars Christian Bale, who was actually a child once if you can believe it.

Like most of the people in the replies, I have watched this video no less than 12 times already. And I WILL watch it again.

(featured image: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures / Columbia Records)


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Author
Britt Hayes
Britt Hayes (she/her) is an editor, writer, and recovering film critic with over a decade of experience. She has written for The A.V. Club, Birth.Movies.Death, and The Austin Chronicle, and is the former associate editor for ScreenCrush. Britt's work has also been published in Fangoria, TV Guide, and SXSWorld Magazine. She loves film, horror, exhaustively analyzing a theme, and casually dissociating. Her brain is a cursed tomb of pop culture knowledge.