Internet Has a Field Day With Entitled Pick-Up Blog’s Instructions on How to Talk to a Woman Wearing Headphones

A really skeezy blog post from a writer on The Modern Man on "how to talk to women wearing headphones" has been making the rounds on the internet as of late, and the entire thing reads like something of a serial killer how-to handbook.

Recommended Videos

To cut to the chase: a really skeezy blog post from a writer on The Modern Man on “how to talk to women wearing headphones” has been making the rounds on the internet as of late, and the entire thing reads like something of a serial killer how-to handbook. The Guardian provided an excellent breakdown, complete with responses to each horridly entitled instruction.

The post even provides an example exchange, or some lines you can use to initiate conversation. The only problem is that each of the lines is so horribly based in assumptions that there’s no way in hell they’d work on an actual human being. The entitlement is absolutely dripping from each word, and it reads something like a badly-done erotic role play from way back in the day. The only thing missing from the written-out exchange is having the example girl, Jessica (gag), twirl her hair around her finger and giggle incessantly.

Women on Twitter have all shared their reactions to the blog post with counter-advice, usually amounting to something like: just don’t hecking do it.

Listen: The only direction anybody should be giving to someone who wants to talk to a woman wearing headphones is that they shouldn’t. Just don’t do it. We’re wearing headphones so we don’t have to deal with the constant onslaught of unsolicited opinions about our bodies or disgusting sexual requests. It doesn’t matter one bit if you think you’re “not like those other guys,” because chances are if you honestly think you’re “not like those other guys,” you actually are exactly like them. Your false kind demeanor belies the fact that you’re after something, especially when you’re working so hard to interject yourself into our daily lives.

One person on Twitter provided an actual helpful instruction, though, one that I feel like I can totally personally co-sign.

So what are you waiting for? Get to work.

(image via Shutterstock/Kseniia Perminova)

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—

Follow The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google+.


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article Men Are Proving the Whole Point of the Man vs. Bear Debate
A mama bear with her cubs
Read Article ‘Cabaret’ Is Back and More Timely Than Ever
the cast of cabaret with joel grey and director rebecca frecknall
Read Article Ryan Gosling’s Iconic ‘Fall Guy’ Red Carpet Surprise Is Incredible Commitment to a Bit
Ryan Gosling at the Fall Guy premiere
Read Article Which ‘Tortured Poets Department’ Song Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?
Taylor Swift on the album cover for The Tortured Poets Department
Read Article Foghorn Leghorn Officially Can’t Stand Seeing All These Anime Characters Beat Themselves Up
Edited photo of Foghorn Leghorn talking to Naoto in "Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro"
Related Content
Read Article Men Are Proving the Whole Point of the Man vs. Bear Debate
A mama bear with her cubs
Read Article ‘Cabaret’ Is Back and More Timely Than Ever
the cast of cabaret with joel grey and director rebecca frecknall
Read Article Ryan Gosling’s Iconic ‘Fall Guy’ Red Carpet Surprise Is Incredible Commitment to a Bit
Ryan Gosling at the Fall Guy premiere
Read Article Which ‘Tortured Poets Department’ Song Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?
Taylor Swift on the album cover for The Tortured Poets Department
Read Article Foghorn Leghorn Officially Can’t Stand Seeing All These Anime Characters Beat Themselves Up
Edited photo of Foghorn Leghorn talking to Naoto in "Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro"
Author
Jessica Lachenal
Jessica Lachenal is a writer who doesn’t talk about herself a lot, so she isn’t quite sure how biographical info panels should work. But here we go anyway. She's the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, a Contributing Writer for The Bold Italic (thebolditalic.com), and a Staff Writer for Spinning Platters (spinningplatters.com). She's also been featured in Model View Culture and Frontiers LA magazine, and on Autostraddle. She hopes this has been as awkward for you as it has been for her.