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hold on to your butts

There’s a Whole Series of Dinosaur Erotica. Isn’t the World a Wonderful Place?

I’d like to say thank you to Christie Sims, author of the “Dinosaur Beast Erotica” series. And I’m not being sarcastic. If werewolf erotica is a thing then it’s just not fair for dinosaurs not to get their due.

(Yes, I know Gryphons aren’t dinosaurs. But this is a post about dinosaur erotica. Just let it go.)

(via: Geekologie)

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  • Anonymous

    When the day comes that we’re visited by aliens, I wonder what they’ll make of this? I mean, what does this say about our society that human/dinosaur erotica exists?

    And is it problematic that dinosaurs (and gryphons) seem to be attracted only to skinny white women in bikinis? And more importantly, should I care?

  • AverageDrafter

    Wow, quadruple entente on the category there… The Mary Sue has the best categories on the web…

  • Anonymous

    Personally I question just how desperate a dinosaur has to be in order to shag a human, but you do have to admire the imagination that goes into a series like this. The only real surprise is that it isn’t weredinosaurs. I know I’ve seen erotica for werebears, weretigers, werebulls, and weredolphins (as well as the boringly obvious werewolves), so points, I guess, for going fullblood animal.

    Can’t say I’ve ever wanted to be savaged by a dinosaur, despite seeing Jurassic Park in the theater probably 15 times, but everyone has their kink and if she can make good money off this, more power to her. Hmm. I wonder what species I could exploit for my own monetary benefit? Mythical creatures? I’ve already seen weredragons. And griffins are clearly covered (I think weregriffins are, too). Mermaids have been done. Ha ha. Unicorns probably have, too. Rocs? What about rocs? Phoenix? I bet that’d be hot. ;)

  • Angi Dudas

    Say what??

  • Anonymous

    Weredinosaur apparently erotica exists – I only know because the Vaginal Fantasy Book Club had it for their book choice at one point. Eternal Pleasure by Nina Bangs I believe. I believe the justification is that a woman would only want to sleep with a Triceratops if he could turn into a hunk for the deed.

  • Jim Cook

    Damn Internet, you scary.

  • Diaspora

    Werehorses, too.

  • Joie Young

    Best BAD IDEA were-animal erotica I ever saw was . . . wait for it . . . WEREHEDGEHOG.

  • Talia

    She also stole some of her cover art, including official Dragon Age artwork and stuff from people on DeviantArt. Tumblr has caught on and apparently, some of the books have been taken down off Amazon.

    I’ve RPed things just as bad as dino-porn before, so who am I to judge, but I did snicker at the absolutely cheese-tastic quality of these Sports Illustrated meets Jurassic Park still Photoshop covers. However, art theft is never cool.

  • Anonymous

    There is not enough brain bleach in the entire world…. oo

  • Bethany Roullett

    But was it Johnlock slash-fic in disguise?

  • Joie Young
  • Anonymous

    This is because starvation affects mental capability.

  • Gerald Kirby


  • Anonymous

    Wereporcupine was done in Fringe.

    Well, it started as a human, converted, and stayed that way. Because ONCE YOU GO PORCUPINE, you NEVER GO BACK.

  • Anonymous

    Did anyone else noticed the one with the checkered swimsuit and racing gloves?

    Because she doesn’t just love raptors. Oh no. She loves VELOCIRAPTORS.

  • Anonymous

    There is definitely Bigfoot erotica. It’s called (plainly enough) Cum For Bigfoot.

    And in case anyone is thinking ‘but I need more than just one bigfoot based sexy book’ well, don’t worry, there are 14 sequels… because of course.

  • Feliza

    I think my eyes are burning.

  • Anonymous

    This reminds me of one of the best Cragslist ads ever, and I can’t help but be uncertain whether I want it to be a trolling ad or I want it to be real:

  • Hailey Ferraro

    I have never wanted to read something so bad in my life! BUAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Anonymous

    That is a very, very specific interest right there

  • Anonymous

    This is like something out of Fan Fiction Friday. (Specifically, the Tomb Raider/Jurassic Park crossover.)

  • Emily Walton

    But are they any good?

  • Erin Treat

    I don’t read a ton of erotica but I do love lesbian romance/thriller/adventure books and one of my favorite series is the Garoul books by Gill McKnight about a werewolf clan in Oregon. lol

  • Ashe

    Thank god you posted this. I need to start my gag Christmas list soon.

  • Anonymous

    John Boston’s “Naked Came The Sasquatch,” remarkably, is not erotica.

  • Not So Young Democrat

    Racist dinosaurs.

  • Anonymous

    There’s an old Greman folk tale about a dude who is a hedgehog, but turns human at night or something. Jim Henson’s “The Storyteller” had a version of it called “Hans my Hedgehog.”

  • Anonymous

    Be a bit more creative – boars or antelope

  • Kamil Kukowski

    to be honest “Eternal pleasure” has weredinosaurs

  • Kamil Kukowski

    “mating with the raptor” that’s how the ugly baies are made

  • KA

    A sure sign that society has jumped head-long into the gutter.

  • Anonymous

    My faith in humanity is restored. Or at least my faith that we’re a bizarre and deviant species is reconfirmed.

    Y’know, someone on tumblr suggested that if Olaf the Snowman was actually some super hottie cursed into being a nitwit snowman, fandom would love him to pieces. Maybe I should write a fic of that. And hopefully it’ll be just different enough that I won’t be stepping on the toes of the “purist” snowman erotica writers.

  • Anonymous

    That’s right! I remember hearing about that! And I bet there’s all kinds of Francœur smut from Monstre a Paris, which means flea porn. Not really a werecreature, but no one’s perfect. LOL!

  • Gregory McIntyre

    you do know gryphons aren’t dinosaurs right?

  • Laura Truxillo

    For my friend’s bachelorette party, we found terrible fanfic in her fandoms and read the naughty bits out loud. The crowning achievement (see how I didn’t say “climax?” That’s because I’m classy) was a Jurassic Park fic called–wait for it– “Clever Girl.”

    Good times.

  • R.O.U.S.

    I want to be friends with your friends. That sounds awesome.

  • Rob Payne

    You do know how to read, right?

  • ShifterCat

    Dinosaurs co-existing with Paleolithic humans? That’s just WRONG.

    Also, their lingerie and haircuts look suspiciously out-of-period.

  • Cain S. Latrani

    Okay. I admit it.

    I have no idea what is going on in the fiction market.

    I’m just gonna go over here and built a fort out of my books.

    Yes, it will have a moat!