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What's with the name?

Allow us to explain.


Burglar Invades Old Lady’s House Only to Find She’s a Competitive Axe-Thrower

Robyn Irvine chased off a thief from her California home this week, presumably because the intruder did not know she was a competitive axe-thrower who keeps an axe at her bedside.

Irvine told CBS Los Angeles that she’d been asleep with her cat when she felt someone trying to take off her watch, and so she reached for her axe, which, I repeat, she apparently keeps near her at all times.

He froze at first. I shocked him with my voice and then he took off. There was no way I catch him but I could’ve thrown. That’ll paralyze him. All I have to do is hit his spine.

Ok, Ms. Irvine, I have officially upgraded you from awesome to awesome and terrifying. Police arrested Nicholas Uolla on suspicion of the crime, after finding several of Ms. Irvine’s belongings in his possession. Irvine, however, says that there was more than one person in her house, rummaging through her kitchen and urns containing her parents’ ashes. She’s been the victim of unsuccessful burglary attempts before, but this is the first to have actually entered her house.

So, burglars. Don’t enter her house. Also I have now gotten through this entire post without mentioning the awesomeness of dwarf women, a considerable testament to my willpower.

(unrelated top pic via Flickr, story via Neatorama.)


  • Jamie Jeans

    Fuck yeah! You go, ma’am!

  • Ashe

    HA. Out of ALL the places he could’ve snuck into. My god.

    On an unrelated note, I feel like signing up for competitive axe throwing…

  • Dave

    I choose to believe the cat’s name is Uni-Baby and her next-door neighbor is Flute Cop.

  • WheelchairNinja

    Best headline ever? Quite possibly.

  • John W

    She’s the best at what she does and what she does is neat.

  • Lady Commentariat

    This lady is my new hero. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

  • Shaine

    as Jane answered I am alarmed that you able to get paid $7842 in four weeks on the computer. these details


  • Anonymous

    Who needs a gun when you have an axe. There’s no part of American gun culture which wouldn’t be better if replaced by throwing-axe culture.

  • Anonymous

    “I will not let you trample on my Second Amendment right to throw axes!”

  • Anonymous

    She should have hit his head, that way no damage would have been done, and the message would be received.
    Great story.

  • Anonymous

    So…. does this woman have an axe to grind?? :)

  • Saigh Kym Lambert

    “Old lady” Really? *sigh* Children!

  • wb7ptr

    THAT is hilarious. Serves the thief right too!

  • wb7ptr

    She’s almost as threatening as a competitive knife thrower. Hilarious.

  • noob

    Grabbers can take my thrown axe from their cold dead skulls.

  • noob

    Shows remarkable restraint actually. I respect that.