Eugene Thompson, AKA Link, had to fend off a home intruder, so he did what anybody would do to vanquish evil and grabbed his trusty Master Sword. Luckily for Thompson, he takes his cosplay very seriously, and the sword was sharp enough to save the princess and restore balance to Hyrule. …Or just fend off a crazy person.
The princess, in this case, was Thompson’s girlfriend, who he lives with in Texas. For some reason, after the two had an argument (presumably over how many rupees Thompson has wasted at Bombchu Bowling), Thompson’s girlfriend called her estranged ex-husband, and he later barged in on the two with the power of his Triforce of Crazy.
“Swords and flower pots; it sounds nuts, he is psycho,” said Thompson, and nuts it was.
Thompson retreated to the bedroom after his girlfriend let the man inside, which is where he pulled the Master Sword from its pedestal (or probably just wherever in there he keeps his Zelda cosplaying materials). Then, when he heard Ganon—I mean, the ex-husband—coming, he tried to ward him off.
“I pulled [the Master flippin’ Sword] out and stood at the doorway, and he was coming down the hallway at me while I was yelling, ‘Go away, you don’t live here’ and he just walked right into the point of the sword, I don’t know if he thought it was a toy,” said Thompson according to Click2Houston.com.
Maybe the guy just didn’t think he was evil enough for the Master Sword to affect him? A scuffle ensued, and Thompson seems to have learned the other guy’s attack pattern, because he managed to get him with the sword two more times in the leg and chest.
Then, forgetting what role he was playing in the scenario, the man grabbed a flower pot and smashed it over Thompson’s head, because it just wouldn’t be Zelda enough without random pot smashing in other people’s houses. No rupees came out, but Thompson sustained a cut on his head that needed to be stitched up, while the ex-husband’s injuries landed him in the hospital in more serious condition.
Thompson’s girlfriend was unharmed in the incident, but he said, “I am just trying to figure out what to do from here, I have to find a new place to live.” That’s probably a wise decision, because it’s going to take some time before that wound heals and he’s able to shoot sword-lasers again.
(Click2Houston via Kotaku, image via The Forum Student Newspaper)
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