I’m sure you’ve all seen someone in a t-shirt that has way too much written on it and that basically ignores the definition of freedom, right? The ones that are like “IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY GUNS, THEN YOU CAN MOVE” and things of that nature? They’re all the rage among some populations in America.
Anyway, they basically scream “I’m sexist and racist and I have the right to be because I’m an American and if you don’t like it, leave the country that promotes freedom!” and what a time. Now, if you still don’t know what shirts I’m talking about, one Twitter user has it covered for you. And lo, a great new meme resulted!
god these are fantastic. i want to make one that’s like
“NEWS REPORTER
i drive a HONDA
i eat RAMEN NOODLES
and i like LAX PUBLIC RECORDS LAWS
if you don’t like it
MOVE” pic.twitter.com/VZy9IddRpO— David Gilbert (@DavidGilbertCCM) August 7, 2019
Okay so NOW that you know what sort of t-shirt I’m talking about, that’s an accurate description I gave, right? These shirts are all over the place in your local Walmart and many gas stations across the nation and they scream out that this (typically) white man has never seen a real struggle in his life but doesn’t want his guns taken from him, even if gun reform saves lives. He only cares about the deer head mounted in his living room.
Anyway, Twitter went off making this meme about themselves (or iconic songs) and it made for a great t-shirt business model.
Ha yes!! Here we go!
“i am a MOM
i drive A SUV WITH CRUSHED CHEERIOS EMBEDDED IN THE SEATS
i eat WHATEVER MY KIDS LEAVE ON THEIR PLATE
and i like SINGLE DADS WHO WORK OUT BUT HAVE MORE GREY HAIR THAN ME and if you don’t like it I AM TOO BUSY TO NOTICE” https://t.co/PGtAfNCUaa— Julie Couret (@JulieTCouret) August 12, 2019
I am a CAT LADY
I have to VACUUM every DAY
and clean up POOP next to the WASHING MACHINE
but that’s OKAY because they ARE SO CUTE
wanna see TWENTY PICTURES https://t.co/7Ii36cLk2c— Kathryn Casteel (@kathryncasteel) August 12, 2019
My child has a CORN ALLERGY She can’t eat anything from the GROCERY STORE. We have to buy from FARMERS MARKETS and know the NAME and FACE of everyone who RAISED, GREW, or CAUGHT the food. If you don’t like it, support local no-spray farming and fight the CORN LOBBY https://t.co/Cv6J2hyxwP
— Charli (@charliswears) August 12, 2019
I’m a PARAMEDIC
I regularly get called an AMBULANCE DRIVER
which is actually DEGRADING
if you call 911 I’ll take you to the HOSPITAL
whether or not it’s an ACTUAL EMERGENCY
I eat lunch while DRIVING TO CALLS
and complain about it A LOT
don’t like it? ME EITHER— David (@dsteiner247) August 10, 2019
WRITER ACTRESS
i take the SUBWAY
i eat FRIES TOO MUCH
and i like SCREAM SING JONI MITCHELL SONGS IN THE SHOWER
if you don’t like it
MOVE https://t.co/QbnYQZqDQu— rachel leishman (@RachelLeishman) August 11, 2019
public school TEACHER
i drive TO WORK
i eat IN CLASS B/C LUNCH DOESN’T EXIST
and i like ASSIGNMENTS TURNED IN ON TIME
if you don’t like it
MOVE— Individual Cold-1s (@Mackletrain) August 10, 2019
i am a BOVINE ANIMAL
i like to eat GRASS
i think i’m pretty CHILL
i DON’T DRIVE
because i’m a COW and i don’t have OPPOSABLE THUMBS
or any THUMBS at all
i also don’t LIKE FETISHIZING VIOLENCE AND DEATH
because who has TIME FOR THAT ANYWAY
if you don’t like it
MOO— Þeron (@i_r_theron) August 10, 2019
I’m a BITCH
I’m a LOVER
I’m a CHILD
I’m a MOTHER
I’m a SINNER
I’m a SAINT
I DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED!
if you don’t like it,
MOVE— David Gilbert (@DavidGilbertCCM) August 9, 2019
I’m all out of FAITH
This is how I FEEL
I’m cold and I am SHAMED
Lying naked on the FLOOR
Illusion never CHANGED
Into something REAL
Wide awake and I can SEE
The perfect sky is TORN
You’re a little LATE
I’m already TORN
So MOVE— Craig Barron (@imamacguffin) August 11, 2019
I wish I could say I lived in a town where I didn’t see at least 5 of these shirts every time I went in public 🤦🏼♀️ https://t.co/xCvUztfMVz
— ♌️ (@klongoria_24) August 12, 2019
Anyway, from now on, we’re just going to yell “if you don’t like it, MOVE” at everything.
if you don’t like it
MOVE https://t.co/Ni4IZU7Y0M— David Gilbert (@DavidGilbertCCM) August 12, 2019
Let’s make our own fun shirts and confuse these folks when they think we’re all on their “MOVE!” side. Because the Earth is on fire and we must take what respite comes our way. What would your declarative t-shirt say?
(image: NBC)
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