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Twitter Introduces New Features, Still Won’t Give Us a Goddamn Edit Button

Jack Dorsey, why are you doing this to us?

 

Twitter's homepage with the bar reading 'What's happening?'

Social media giant and bane of our existence Twitter announced two new features coming to the app. But alas, neither are the much-desired edit button. Le sigh. Twitter is rolling out “Fleets,” which lets you post tweets, videos and text that disappear in 24 hours. So basically Snapchat meets Instagram Stories? Because Tweets aren’t fleeting enough already, I guess.

The second feature, #Spaces, lets you join virtual rooms where can have real-time audio conversations with other users. Indeed, because if Twitter users have been demanding anything, it’s more noise. Great work, everyone.

Periscope founder and Twitter product lead Kayvon Beykpour tweeted that in their product testing they “learned that people who are new to Twitter or who rarely Tweet are particularly drawn to Fleets as an easy way to share what’s on their mind. Now, more than ever, we think it’s critical to provide people another way to share what’s on their mind; without feeling self-conscious about it lasting on the record, and without the pressure of public replies. Those Tweets that never got past “Drafts” can finally see the light!”

In response to the changes, “Damn Twitter” and similar hashtags began trending, as users from across the globe voiced their concerns:

Social media sites are addicted to copying one another’s features. They think that if a feature works well on one platform, it makes sense that it would work on another. But users, for the most part, don’t want 4 or 5 identical platforms. They want the specific experience that each platform has to offer. The struggle to cherry-pick features has made some sites like Facebook nearly unnavigable due to constant changes.

Folks are so sick of the Twitter changes that “MySpace” is now trending thanks to nostalgia for a simpler online life. Oh, if only we could go back to those halcyon days of the early aughts, with music in profiles and neon lettering on black backgrounds. Those were the days.

(featured image: PIXXart / Shutterstock.com)

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Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. She currently lives in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband and two poorly behaved rescue dogs. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.